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2 Bumps

tired of family

i want to move out of state. my husband died 10 months ago. ive always taken care of my brother and sister. my mom drank.then got married took care of husband,three kids house and sometimes mom before she died. then the grandkids came along 3 boys.can you watch the boys while i go get my nails done. sometimes never really asking.under pretense of coming to see me. now my 19 year old is working in second kid. she works part time,goes to a community college,and tries to take care of 3year old. she also lives with me and pays no bills but tries to tell how ishould do things. i have a special needs adult son. he functions very well. they (daughters) try to tell me what to do about him. im ready to t ell them all go mind your own business my older daughter got her car repossed and filed bankrupty. then she tell me how to manage money. im soooooooo tired/ phyically and mentally. what should i do.

Answer Question
 
stressedoutgran

Asked by stressedoutgran at 5:12 AM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,324 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Talk to them and tell them how they're making you feel. It sounds like your taking care of alot of things and need more credit then your actually getting.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 5:17 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • ive tried they dont listen. sometimes i feel like getting in the car and just go
    stressedoutgran

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 5:20 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Next time your family says something to you about your life. Just tell them "mind your own business" I can do this.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:36 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • And the word NO comes to mind too.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:37 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • The next time they try telling you what you should and shouldn't be doing, you tell them to do what you do everyday for a week and then they cantell you what you should be doing. You and I both know momma that what you do in a weeks or even a days time isn't anything they could handle.
    Your a strong women and you are a good women that puts everyone before you.... STOP Take some time for yourself. You deserve time to yourself. Gl with everything and things will get better soon.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 5:49 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • i still want to get away. nothing is the same since my husband died. ive tried picking up the pieces. but no one seems to care. there are two big issues. if i did move what would my 19 year old do.she has one 3 yearold she cant handle and one on the way.shes going to have to quit her job soon. she has no big money coming in. i want to get her settled before i leave. the other is my 3 year old grandson hes the light of my life. he can make me laugh when nothing else can. tell me how to leave them.
    stressedoutgran

    Comment by stressedoutgran (original poster) at 7:55 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • You don't need to leave. You need to start dating. You need somebody in your life you fills you with joy (over the age of 3) Somebody who adds to your life rather than taking all they can get from you. He also needs to tell you when you are doing too much and saying yes too often. You could do all this yourself if you had a well of strength to draw from, but you obviously don't because you have been a doormat for years.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:03 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Tough love these people...you have carried the weight for so long...time for you to take care of you....kick the kids out....take care of you and your son....when they come to you and ask for something....stand up and say NO and mean it....You have taught them it's ok to be this way...you have to now teach them it's not any more....they will get mad...and may scream your not a good person anymore...but, you are a wonderful person...it's just time for you to stand up for you!!! Good luck...hope it all works out!!
    kiwi91663

    Answer by kiwi91663 at 10:39 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Tell your DD that she is grown and needs to move out. give her a time line as to wnen she has to be out. go tell the guy she is pregnant buy to find a place for her. Bring your DD down to the PA office and get her on PA and PA housing.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:11 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I would put them all in there place and tell them to mind there own business
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 1:27 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

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