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How important was financial stability when you were looking for a husband?

When I met and married my husband (short courtship of 21 days?!?!......what was I thinking???) he seemed to be financial stable with a great paying job. We had just about anything we wanted. Over the past 8 years, our financial situation has gotten worse and worse. We are down to our last $20. I do not work now as we have a small daughter at home. He has spent every penny we have on get rich schemes or business ventures. We are in debt to his family for about $75,000 and my parents about $25,000. He owes the IRS about $76,000. We own nothing but a truck. I have tried to believe that things would get better over the years, but they have only gotten worse. I have tried to talk to him about it, and have even threatened to leave him. I am forty years old, and I do not want to live this way any more. I would just walk away, but our daughter would be devastated. Can anyone offer any advice.........

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emmasmom2003

Asked by emmasmom2003 at 9:38 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • what kind of job does he have?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • He works in advertising. He just started a new job. His salary will be $62,000/year.
    emmasmom2003

    Answer by emmasmom2003 at 9:53 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • Financial stability and being well off are two different things. Mine hasn't really started making a lot of money til this year, but he has never been in debt to anyone, has never worked a risky job, has always saved a portion of his income, has steadily contributed to a retirement fund...that sort of thing. Whether he made 15,000 or 150,000, he wouldn't be irresponsible with his money and that is VERY important to me...definitely more important than his bottom line.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:56 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • When I married my husband I didn't really think of how hard it would be. I knew his job did not pay very well but now I wish I would have given it more time because we have been through some crap trying to live.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I am with Kabbot01 my hubby is the same way, but my hubby has a good job and he been in the busness of trucking for 15 yrs, my hubby is well off he told me 1 time if i guess how much he is worth he would marry me i didn't give him the amount i just gave him a 25 cents to call who cares
    semiwife

    Answer by semiwife at 10:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • What were your reasons for borrowing that money from the parents? It sounds like to me there is more to the story. You could be part of the problem as well. Sounds to me you both need to be more responsible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • As long as he doesn't live above his means, he's good to me! I left my boyfriend (who was a finance graduate) for a restaurant dishwasher. It's all about the heart for me : )
    orangeorbie

    Answer by orangeorbie at 10:45 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • He borrowed the $75,000 from his parents to start a business last year that failed badly, so now he owes his parents, and we have nothing to show for it.
    emmasmom2003

    Answer by emmasmom2003 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

  • I think you two would benefit from a marriage counselor as well as a financial counselor. He needs to learn how to be wise with the money. But also, for him to spend all of your money on these schemes and put you guys in such dire straits is disrespectful to you and your daughter. He needs to learn that his actions affect not only him, but the two of you. I think a marriage counselor may help him see that.

    If not....it might behoove you to think of a separation. It would be hard on your daughter, but if he continues to go into debt this way, he's only going to drag you both with him.
    ClownPleco

    Answer by ClownPleco at 12:28 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I'd talk to a marraige counselor. Money isn't your problem. If he made $200,000 a year, he'd probably blow through $200,500 a year! He has some issues that makes him sabotage you guys financially. Until that's fixed you probably won't be able to keep any of what comes his way. Good luck I hope you two figure this out.
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 1:10 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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