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3 Bumps

my husband said hes goin to take my kids and go to another state , what do i do please help!!!

my husband and i and our kids and his mother r goin to move to colorado and lately we've been haveing some problems, well more like hes been telling me everything i do is wrong and im a very bad person and that im goin to go to hell because i wear makeup and try to look nice when i go out and stuff and he thinks that its a waste of time well neway this morning we had a fight about how i should walk my son to school instead of just taking him to the bus stop, and he told me that if there was a way that he could take the kids and leave me here he would. we've been together for 10 years i am 24 and he is 25 we have 2 kids a 5 and a 3 year old.he has gotten violet w/ me in the past he makes the kids tay in their room when he is at home not very often does he let them come into the living room w/ us a watch a show, and when i say anything about it he tells me that they have a room for a reason ( tostay in). what r my options?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Talk to an attorney, get you and your kids away from him. Make sure that your attorney knows he is potentially a flight risk.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:59 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Get a lawyer and get a divorce.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:59 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Talk to a lawyer about divorce..then he can't take your kids out of state without your consent...

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:00 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • about the consent he told me that if i ever tried to take them away that he would get them becuse of some of the things i do - i dont do drugs or do anything harmful to ne1 he tells me this because he doesnt agree w/ the way i live is that really a reason to take my kids from me? like sometimes i act like a drama queen over small stuff and i do tend to get frustrated eaisly but can he really take them over the? and also hes the type of person that can make ne1 beleive nething and im so afraid that hes goin to try and make me out to be this horrible mother , i mean he tries to make me believe that im a ad mom .

    Answer by mamasmurf171 at 10:07 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • He can take the children and leave. The only thing you can do is go to court but, by then he will already be gone. Your only option is to leave before he does. Women do it all the time, if he leaves with the children your chances of getting physical custody is slim. Good luck.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:13 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • You need to go get yourself a recorder,you can get them at walmart and I think pretty much anywhere. Record what he says without him knowing if you can. GL

    Answer by MarGeee at 10:14 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • He's an abusive POS. He's got you tied down so tight, your jumping at every little rant he has. Wake up, get some help and get out safely. He's abusing you and your kids. Your life is not normal. His actions are not normal, they are abusive. Think about your children and their childhoods. Find the strength to trust yourself and get away from him before he destroys you and your children.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 10:15 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • There is a program called here New York I think it is nation wide. They help You LEAVE. Wasit till he is not mad. Do not change a thing. Stop using compter. Delete History, Now, TOOLS, Scroll Down, Delete, Go to random sites. Walmart, Kmart, Target, Schools web Site. After you find a way out. Add a dollar to grocery list till you have enough to leave. Do not get caught.
    Be careful. These DV places will not help you unless you take anything you can to leave. When you have the strength to leave you will. Lawyers are expensive. Get Custody first, Then Seprate, then Support. They all not in the same area. In other place they are. I know in Brooklyn they are because the DA's sister had been getting beat and he changed the system and used his own money. I really do not know you or your area so I can tell you the law. Lawyers on-line are a no no W Love, and Hope, Sam

    Answer by mamicharacter at 10:16 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • What isabellalecour said ~ You need to get you and your children to a women's shelter, and sooner rather than later. You can start on your legal options once you're there but right now the most important thing is to get out and to a place where he can't reach you. Don't threaten him about it, don't talk to anyone about it ~ just go. Wait until he's at work and pack up a few changes of clothing for you and the kids, head out for a walk, than call a taxi if necessary.

    What he's doing to you and the children is wrong and the three of you deserve so much better. Since he's been dumb enough to tell you that he'd leave you and take the children, don't wait for it to happen. Clothes and other 'stuff' can be replaced, your babies can't. Go soon and good luck. You can do it.

    Answer by Farmlady09 at 10:44 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Get a lawyer NOW! Even if it's a court appointed lawyer!
    Record everytime he's physically or verbally abused you. Record everytime he's threatened to take the kids and run. That's premeditated Kidnapping or Attmpted kidnapping at the least. Yes, even though they're his biological kids too. And make sure to get all of the legal help you can. Get yourself and the kids out of the situation!!

    You can do this! You need to do this for your own safety and your kids.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:22 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

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