Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Do you think this will win in court?

My husband and I are seperated. He told me he's getting a college kid to rent out a room. I told him I didn't want the two girls (3 and 8 weeks) going over there with a stranger living in the house. Here's some reason I will give in court: My daughter who is now 7 was molested by my husbands dad several times, we found out when she was 5. (yes we pressed charges, we find out his sentencing in sept) Also, He's never even been alone in the house ever with either two. When I would shower or sleep he would not watch the kids, he would sleep (meaning they'd pretty much be left alone with this stranger). I'm terrified to send my kids to a house with a stranger living in it. With a new baby, if he doesnt like her screaming, what if he shook her? What if he messed with my 3 year old? What if he hurt one of them? I just cant believe my husband would allow a stranger to live in the house when he has two little girls..


Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Aug. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • The answer to your question depends on the state you live in and also on how good of a lawyer you have. It also matters whether the college student would be renting a room within the house or if it was like an apartment with a separate entrance.

    Regarding your baby, in my state a father cannot get a baby under 2 years old for overnight visits unless the mother has been deemed unfit.

    I used to be a CPS case worker. There are really too many factors in your situation for anyone here to give you an accurate answer. You really need to get a good lawyer.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:02 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't think that would hold up in court. If he were to allow a pedophile or a known child abuser live there, that would - but this? This is just playing the "what if" game - and anyone can do that. He could too - what if your mom, your babysitter, your neighbor, your child care provider, your whatever did the same thing?

    Answer by ihatetocook at 10:53 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Unless the judge feels that they are in danger, he will allow the visitation. My Ex never helped either but still got her. He is now a better father than I could have ever dreamed

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:53 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • it will definitely give advantage to your case. While they are this young, i doubt your DH will have prolonged visits with them.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:54 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • i don't think it would hold up in court. In a divorce it will be who gets what kid for how long etc. and If he is having whoever live there, it is his choice. That would be like you telling him how to live his life, are you his mother? You would definately not win, i can tell you that, i've seen court cases like this before.

    Answer by Mommy2JoshNJake at 10:58 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • wow.. can you find out who the roommate is... look and see if he has a record of any kind... if i was the judge listening to that i would certainly side with you --- can you paint it more like dh allowed the molestation .. because that would help your case - think did he Ever rationalize weird things that happened when dd was with his dad... it would make it seem like you have more of a solid reason to doubt him..

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:53 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • i tend to think this will not look good in court
    unless he knows person, supplies a background check of person etc

    is this the truth? or is it possible he is having some young hot college girl move in??
    just my first thought???

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:56 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • *giving up my identity by posting* lol... well I'll fight it. It might be a "what if" game. But my kids dont stay with anybody I don't know. Just my parents. That's it, ever since what happened to my oldest I don't let anybody else watch my kids. I know my husband wouldn't hurt them.. but just because this kid doesn't hasn't a record doesn't mean he hasn't or won't do anything. I wish I had played the "what if" game with his parents when they watched them. What if my baby or toddler were throwing a fit and decided to hurt them? Lots of younger adults don't like kids that much.. Who says he isn't one of them? I'll go to jail to keep my kids safe, and that's what I'm ganna do, keep them safe! (not fighting with you just so you know lol. sometimes things can be taken the wrong way)

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 11:00 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Heres an idea, I know his other daughters mother won't let her kid stay if he has some college kid living with him. She's 14! What if we BOTH faught him on it? Maybe he'd just drop it!? Maybe he wouldn't feel its worth it and then not get a roommate...

    Answer by MJ_BN_FE at 11:03 AM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I am not a lawyer, but I don't see much of a case there. Like someone else said, anyone can play the "what if" game. It looks more like you don't want him to have the kids and are just pointing your finger at the roommate situation. You can't hold any blame against your ex for what his father did. He found out and pressed charges, same as you did. I think fathers are less often left alone in the house with their kids in general. That doesn't mean he isn't up to the task when he doesn't have their mother there to do all the work.

    Someone mentioned a general law about no over night visitors. That may be so, but I don't know that it says anything about roommates.

    Someone also said something about painting it more like your ex allowed the situation. PLEASE do NOT do that! What an awful thing to even suggest!!

    Answer by Jessica157 at 11:04 AM on Aug. 27, 2010