Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I say something???

I know of a situation that is very disturbing to me. I know a 14 yr old girl who likes a 31 year old man. Now this is not the problem. The problem is that now he is seeming to reciprocate where before he was just brushing it off. Her parents know about it. Her mom treats her like a friend so she is cool with it. The dad just puts up with it. It bothers me very much because it is becoming more odvious what is going on. She has been going in and out of his house alone and I just think things have happened. My delima is should I say something to someone because it is just not right . He could go to jail, and probably should. My husband says do not get involved. What say you?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Sorry to say this but she's not your child. Stay out of it. We "all" know as adults what is going on but the parents are excepting it.
    Bite your lip and move on.
    bmwlover

    Answer by bmwlover at 12:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • gross.

    If mom knows about it... then I would stay out.

    HOWEVER... MY kid would NEVER allowed to hang out at that home or with that child!!!!
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 12:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Don't get involved. The parents are the ones that have to do something and/or press charges. It's very sickening but when you call the cops they are going to ask your relation to this girl and when you say none. They are going to tell you the parents need to voice their concern.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • YES you should step in, this CHILD is clearly not being protected by her parents
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Don't get involved unless you have actually seen something happen - at which time I would talk to her parents and let them know. It IS disturbing, but you could ruin that man's life, as well as hurt her family, if there isn't anything really going on.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • If you want you can report it to social services but reality is that most likely nothing will be done. There has to be proof that something wrong is happening. Seeing her coming and going from his house is not proof other then she visits him. Your heart can tell you what is going on but they are going to want facts. Did you see them touching each other? Kissing? Etcc.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:41 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • If you do not "know" that something is happening that is a pretty serious accusation. For all you know she does his filing. If I were to become involved I would have to be damn sure of what I was saying ... you are responsible for what you say and do. If you feel that certain and you feel close enough to the situation you should approach him ... tell him what you think and what you will do if it is true and continues. If you wrongfully accuse him he could take action against you.
    Marybeth1730

    Answer by Marybeth1730 at 12:42 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I would have to agree with baconbits for the most part...they probably wouldn't do anything. But they might...and I would say that if you did call Children Services and they did happen to question the people it would give them all a wake-up call. It is probably your best chance at POSSIBLY getting something done.
    Another idea...an anonymous letter to the school counselor...with all the privacy laws, they won't talk to you, but she would get the letter, and may talk to the child or call children services herslef.
    niknik78

    Answer by niknik78 at 12:48 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Hard to say especially when the parents already know. If anything I'd talk to the girl directly and just give her some guidance and let her know what kind of situation she could be getting herself into. I messed around with a guy who was 30 when I was 15 and even though nothing bad came out of it I kind of wish someone would have stepped in and told me I was stupid and I had no business thinking and acting like I was older than I was. But my parent's didn't know and what were my 15 year old friends really going to say?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I would want someone to say something if that were my child. Now, I wouldn't be as lax about it as her parents to begin with, but if I were oblivious to it I'd want to know. No, it's not your child, but you'd do the same if you knew a child was being sexually assulted. You'd say something and this would be no different. It doesn't matter if it's consentual, he's a 31 year old man! Yes, you should say something!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:54 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN