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3 Bumps

I wish i can getsome help here

I was hoping some one help me here i got this friend of my who is a single mom ans she hopes to get somebody to adopt her kid thats through an open adoption because she wants to her daughter to have a good chance in life and also because she wants to go backto school.

Answer Question
 
juramsiere

Asked by juramsiere at 6:33 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • She needs to find a lawyer/adoption agency that specializes in open adoptions.
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 6:35 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I know my mom would! She's wanted another baby for a long time but can't afford to go through an agency.
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 6:40 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Best of luck to your friend.. HUGS!!
    Mazie0723

    Answer by Mazie0723 at 6:46 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • You are a good friend trying to help her because right now she needs support. Does she have family that she can turn to? The most important is for her to research all she can on adoption. There is a birthmom group on here that maybe able to help. Open adoption is possible however she really needs to know that she can trust the adoptive parents will keep their promises of open adoption. Sadly not all open adoptions stay open. There is plenty of helpful information and groups on adoption here at Cafemom. My adoption was a private adoption so I can answer questions on private adoption if you have any. I hope with your support your friend will get the help to make the decision that is best for her and her baby.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:21 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Encourage her to educate herself about her options. An adoption agency is generally the worst place to learn about adoption. Send her to the birth mom group to hear from moms who have relinquished. Encourage her to read Heather Lowe's booklet http://hslowe.tripod.com/BOOKLET.pdf. It highlights many things moms considering relinquishment need to know.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 9:46 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • she can go to the county and pick a family, interview a family and relinquish her rights and still get the Judge to allow her photos, letters and visits on some level. Waiting families make a page for a album she can look thru who already have their home studies done, done all the classes and are licensed homes. The neat thing is all sorts of families to choose from...
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 11:03 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Make sure your friend knows that open adoption agreements are not legally enforceable. Once she's signed the relinquishment papers she's no more entitled to see her child than you or I am.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:26 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • check under groups here, I'm sure you'll find some help
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:01 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • quote: because she wants her daughter to have a good chance in life

    The only way your friend can have any control or input over the quality of life her daughter will have is if she keeps and parents her.
    Giving that responsibility to genetic strangers to fulfill CAN be a gamble. Is your friend ready to roll the dice? As others have said here, help her with finding resources/info for ALL her options. Sometimes adoption can be an everlasting nightmare. Sometimes it works out well, for all of us. Your friend and her baby deserve to know all the possibilities of good/bad adoption experience.
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 4:58 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I do know how scary not having money can be. That said, I personally don't believe it makes one a bad parent. There are many social programs that are availabe, especially to single mothers. However, since she is already considering adoption, I also suggest she visit the Birthmoms forum on CafeMom. It has been an education for me that I couldn't have gotten anywhere else. Good luck to you all.
    urbanroost

    Answer by urbanroost at 1:11 PM on Sep. 8, 2010

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