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Is it me or him?

I work full time and go to school full time at night. I have class mon-thur evenings. I am going to be a nurse. My job right now I hate, even though I make good money. We have been on mandatory overtime for a while now. DH is pissed at me ALL the time. I can't stand it. I am at the point that I want a divorce. He is mad that he has to pick the kids up and take them to the baby sitters and I just work and go to school. So, am I the horrible mother for working and going to school. I want a better career and life for my family. I also want to be happy in my career. Or is he as ass?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:38 AM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Also wanted to add that i'm not in the nursing program yet. I have a couple more prerequesites to finish up, so my night classes are only a little over an hour a night.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • He is being an ass! Good for you for working so hard to ensure a better future for yourself and your children. They are his kids too and he is being selfish and a baby. Yes it's hard sometimes, yes sometimes one of parents maybe having to pull a little more weight as far as caring for the kids and day to day stuff. However it's not like you are out partying with the girls you are working twords a better future and a better life. Your man needs t o suck it up and support you not make you feel bad because you aren't in his eyes doing enough. Sheesh ..... if I were you I would be mad as hell.
    norbert

    Answer by norbert at 8:23 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • He's wrong. You are working and going to school, working just as much as he is, just in a different way. You're not slacking off, being lazy, or getting away with anything. He's taking care of his children, something he should have been helping you do anyway.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:08 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • some guys are just not meant to be the parent to take care of the kids. not that it is a bad thing, it is just not what they are comfortable with, while other dads are great at it. also he could resent the fact that you are bettering yourself and it seems that he is being left behind a bit. he may be feeling threatened or less of a man because he cannot provide for his family. it could be that his doing so much with the kids is part of what he feels is a "mother's" responsibility. you really need to sit down and talk to him when the kids are not around. of if you can, do something friday or saturday nights with just him. continued...
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 9:22 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • continued...
    you may find that he is taking his frustration with the situation out on you and it is not really YOU he is upset with. I know when my dh was taking graduate classes over the summers and later was away at AIT for the Army, i was very short with him at times. he was going out and having fun (or so i thought) and here i was stuck with the kids by myself going out very little... when i finally told him, things really imporved. but you need to communicate with him and he with you!
    ArmyWifeMomof3

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 9:24 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Did you guys discuss what would be required of you for the next few years that you are in school? Hopefully you'd talked about all the sacrifices you would both be making when you embarked on furthering your education and EARNING POTENTIAL. You are sacrificing a lot too by not being able to spend more time with your kids. But keep him focused on the fact that this is temporary even though it is very difficult. Keep reminding him of WHY you are doing this and that you guys are a team working together to make your lives better.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • You go girl.... keep your independences when it boils down to it that is all we have.... and of course GOD! continual on with your education. What the heck... long as you do right by your kids, you are doing fine, and as for your husband,,, well I am not the one to comments on someone else MAN..... cause I am still trying to hang on to my eighteen years of marriage.

    My GF of many years (since I was 19) had always told me that I should have divorce him, however I never listen to her..... the things she said was true! and are still true to this day.... and that was almost 18 years ago.. My, my, my how time fly's , and I am just feed !! At this point it has nothing to do with, Love, or him having affair's which he has been doing for years. Think God Josh is on his way to college and I can..... deal with hubby the way that I want too.... and loose the respect that I once had for him.


    Blessing,

    Polo66

    Answer by Polo66 at 12:52 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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