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I'm tire of my husband not dedicating time to me or my dd, would you stay?

I tell him he needs to spend time with us but to him one half day a week is more than enough and there's nothing wrong with that. Am I wrong in wanting to see more of him? I'm always feeling lonely. I work while dd is at school and dedicate 100 % to her and the home inside and out when I"m not working. When he gets home he goes straight to sleep so It's always a hello and good night withing a minute. Yet, once a week he spends his day off golfing and drinking with co-workers. How much more should I take? I have spoken to him so many times about my feeling but he Always responds with " I spend time with you guys, you are just a baby". I have no social life and I really don't care for one since I can't because I have my dd to take care of. I'm so tire! Thanks for listening.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You'll need to figure this out. Decide what you want. If he is spending the time on the job, and some time with his buddies, and if he is happy, then make a life on your own. I don't mean away from him. I took a part time job and went out with my friends. Hire a sitter if you need to. I recommend not being needy about him, nor scolding or complaining- that will only encourage him to spend even more time away from you. Find your own life, even if it means simply inviting neighbors or friends that you make over to your place and trading visits. When you are more relaxed and content then your husband will be more relaxed and content. Take classes, ... make yourself a life.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:15 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I suggest you and he go to counseling.
    SoniaL

    Answer by SoniaL at 9:33 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • You CAN have a social life with your child, just bring her along. Don't use your child as an excuse for not having a social life.
    As for your husband .. Tell him that he needs to man up and take responsibility for his life. That you and your child aren't there for his convience. That he helped you build that life and he better damn well help you raise it. If he can't do that then ask him if he'd rather you leave? Because honestly I've been in this situation and he just may not realize that he's helping push you out the door.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:22 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • i hate it when men don't devote their time to their family and takes them for granted. i'm not one that believes that leaving or divorcing. i would however threaten to leave and ask to seek therapy so that you both can have someone help you see each other point of you. i worry most about how this will effect your daughter. father figures are so important to little girls. they often times seek men who represent their fathers. lets hope that your husband ships up so that he can be a great example for what you daughter finds in a mate. i think him not listening to you or having respect for your feelings is a huge issue and problem that warrants therapy. you guys are not decorations to have in the house. you are his life and his world should consist mainly on him being there for you. not 100% of his time but most of it. that is being a family. ultimatum time, therapy or your leaving him.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:39 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I think you are already doing this relationship yourself, or so it seems. Are you sure he is spending all this time with his buddies or not? Are you sure he isn't seeing someone else? It's up to you though, you need to really think about this before you act. Good Luck!
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:54 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I totally agree with Bmat
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 11:57 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

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