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3 Bumps

Does anyone elses husband micro-manage them???

When my husband met me I dressed in expensive brands, wore TONS of make-up, dyed my hair monthy, and spent hours getting ready in front of the mirror. When I was pregnant and when our daughter was young I went pretty natural. I didnt even do my eyebrows or hair ever.

Now that she turned 2 this month I am ready to focus on me and be high maintenance again. But he is really fighting me on it, saying he likes me natural and thinks the whole "clown" thing is unneccesary and makes him mad. He even thinks I am doing it for other men's attention since he doesnt like it. It just makes me feel pretty.

What would you do, and do you have a man like that!?

Answer Question
 
amber710

Asked by amber710 at 9:06 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,826 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • He's telling you what he likes....and that's not a bad thing...
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 9:09 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • well i'm not high maintence.... can't give you advice on that lol. but my husband does like to try and control me. i don't like it and we fight alot about it. it has gotten better over the years though
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:09 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I'm 'natural' all the time, lol. Hubby likes it like that, so I don't try to do anything else. My husband doesn't demand anything of me, but I try to do things he likes anyway. Could you just be 'high maintenance' part of the time and be the way he likes you the other part?
    montanagal2005

    Answer by montanagal2005 at 9:15 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I think it's important to take care of yourself and do things to feel pretty...to a point. I would not go overboard and be high maintenance. I think it's good that he tells you he likes you natural. He really has no right to control you but if it were me I'd want to look the way my husband found me attractive. He could also be thinking about the financial side of it. That stuff gets expensive fast. Don't let vanity cause an issue in your marriage. It isn't that important to have name brands and TONS of make-up.
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 9:15 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • you are a full range mother and you get to present yourself as you feel....and we dress for status with other women too ya know...just wait for Kindergarden and you see where all the other moms are at...dang..it seems they are light years ahead with style and owning there motherhood...and they have kids the same age.....

    and on his side I would say, girl, you have it so good. He loves your morning look, your unmodified beauty. Your inner energy and self worth.

    Now if he starts getting all cute with comments like that I would think he was get something on the side....

    One more flip, I'd make my eyes all doey (youknow, big and shaded) and if he said one word about it, I'd blind fold him and show him what I'm talking about~
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 9:18 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • He's just telling you what he likes. Plus he knows you look beautiful when you're all done up and maybe he doesn't want other guys checking you out! I know my DH tells me all the time how he wishes I didn't wear makeup, but I feel so much prettier when I have my mascara, eyeshadow and eyeliner on. I mean, does your husband take time to make himself look presentable? I know mine does and I always tell him that he takes his takes his time to make himself look good. I do the same, except it involves makeup. It's important to make yourself feel pretty, it's a confidence booster and it gives you a higher self-esteem. And high self-esteem looks good on everyone! :)
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:34 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • no my man accepts the way i look with or without make up. i sacrifice everything for my children and since were not rich i can't be high maintenance even if i wanted to. thank god for natural good looks.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:14 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • That's not micromanaging you in the least bit.
    He's trying to tell you that you're beautiful without all of the makeup, hairdye, and expensive clothing. That though you're a wonderful person, all of that getup is a turn off. I think you should hear what he's telling you and see where he's coming from. You don't need a lot of makeup, hair dye, and expensive clothing. There's no need for it and it just makes you look like you're trying too hard. I personally don't understand why you're wanting to be high maitenence. If you soo easily went to natural then it shows me that you're wanting to be dolled up again is for other people. Not even for yourself, especially not for your husband (who clearly doesn't like it), but for the attention that it got from others. Which is the absolute wrong reason to get dressed in any sort of manner. Like I said, you easily went to natural and stayed that way for two years .. Why change?
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:19 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Well I was married to a very controlling man and he hated everything I did from how i did my hair to the panties that I wore. he thought I did it all to attract other men.I know what you are going thru and if it doesnt get better you should tell him to either stop the crap or leave him. I got divorced from him 2 years ago and I have never been happier. The man (my fiance) I am with now is amazing and he doesnt care about what I wear or how I do my hair.
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 10:36 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I can not call myself High Maintenance but, when i married my husband 15 years ago- i got up every morning & the first thing i had to do is take a shower & do my hair & make- up; even if i wasn't planning on going anywhere for the day- i have done that as far back as i can remember- i still do everyday, just b/c i can't start my day right unless i do- i know that my husband could careless if i do it or not, i do it b/c it makes me feel better- Some women feel better Natural & some feel better with their Hair & Make- Up done but, i honestly believe that is Their Choice & Not Anyone Else's to make- But, i can see your husband's side on this somewhat b/c it did not bother you for 2 years- My husband would probably want to know what was up if i stopped for 2 years & then suddenly started again- i would just explain to him that it makes you feel better about yourself- Good Luck!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:21 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

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