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2 Bumps

Separation / Custody/ Child Support

My husband and I have been fighting a little bit lately. Ok alot-a-bit. Ok everyday. And I had a few hours during nap time today to sit down and think while my our daughter slept about maybe getting a legal separation to think things through. The thing is, our daughter is not actually OUR daughter. Legally she is mine. He is her STEP father and has not gotten legal rights on her like we had been talking about when we first married. But he has been her other care giver for over 2 years (she is only 3). Does that, in the eyes of the law, make him a primary care giver? If so does that make him liable to pay child support? And is there a chance for a custody/ visitation battle?

Answer Question

Asked by sweetiowamommy at 9:33 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • im not sure if he would have any legal rights to her i would call legal aid and get free advice

    Answer by mamaD98 at 9:35 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • no. if he never adopted her then he doesn;t have legal rights to her. is he on the birth certificate? if he is then he might have to pay but i don't see why if he is not her biological father.

    Answer by lambdarose at 9:35 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I don't think legally he would have any rights, and if he's not on the birth certificate and you wanted to pursue child support, they would have to do a blood test to determine if he was really the father.

    Answer by Kword at 9:42 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • No rights, no support. He can't try and get custody. The only thing you could get is alimony or spousal support if you live in one of the few states that have that.


    Answer by Gailll at 9:42 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • No, he has no parental rights and no legal support obligation to the child unless he legally adopted her.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 9:44 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • He is not her father...legally ... so there is nothing he can do to get custody and he will not have to pay any type of support.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 9:46 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • if you are looking for support, why dont you go after the childs biological father. And, money shouldn't be your main concern. If you 2 are both adults, think about the affect on your daughter and try to figure out if your problems are fixable. Im not trying to sound like a jerk, Im just a firm believer in toughing it out. Im not saying "be unhappy", but try some type of mediation for your daughters sake. Then worry about the finances.

    Answer by lovinsophie at 10:09 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • Child support can order a DNA test, at the request of a parent. Odds aren't very good since he isn't the biological parent of your daughter. Why don't you have an order for the child's biological father? Having an argument in front of your child everyday isn't going to fix things. Maybe you could try a trial separation and see how things go?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:41 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • I filled for her biological father. They will not do anything because his only income is Disability and he refuses to get an actual job. Money is not my problem. I would rather he not pay because I know his financial problems. His are mine. "Toughing it out" is a hard option cause thats just as hard on my daughter as separating would be. She is the one sitting in the middle of our problems. The one who sees the out bursts and problems. I am thinking of her when I think of this. Thats how I came to this.

    Comment by sweetiowamommy (original poster) at 11:48 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • NO- He would not have to pay child support or Get visitation rights- Your daughter would not even be metioned in your Separtion Agreement b/c he is not her Biological Father- Maybe Counseling would be a good idea............. Good Luck!

    Answer by daisyb at 11:56 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

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