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2 Bumps

what should i do????HELP!!!!!!!! STEP-SON!!!!

my SO and i have been together for 3 years now and we have a beautiful daughter together. I have a 3 year old daughter and he has a 9 year old son from a previous relationship. his son sleeps with us everytime he comes over i have told my so he is to old to be doing this. as my 3 year old hardly ever sleeps with us.. she goes to bed when she is told and never argues with me when i say bedtime. his son however throws a complete fit when i tell him to get ready for bed he cries and whines and acts like a 2 year old i dint know what else to do my SO asks him to sleep with him all the time and he knows i dont like it we have talked about it numerous times. it makes me very uncomfortable as i dont usually wear pajamas to sleep i sleep in undies and am not able to do so with him in the room. I really feel that he shouldnt be allowed to sleep with his parents at 9. what do i do?? anything will help!!!!!!

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brittanybell

Asked by brittanybell at 11:48 PM on Aug. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (484 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I first off want to say I give you credit for BEING a Step parent.. I don't think I could handle walking in and trying to love another persons child the way I should or would need too - but.. remember its HIS baby too - his son might just need that comfort or gets scared or wants more daddy time since he isn't with him all the time.. I was very attached to my mom and when I left to stay with my dad even on the weekends.. when I came home I felt like I had been gone for months... I needed her comfort and love all over again like I had been gone for so long.. he could be just a tough child.. I have a tough child and a strong willed child which is why I say I give you so much credit.. although I love him with all I have, I think if I were outside looking in, he would be a hard one to understand..lol! :) Good luck.. again.. regardless of what you think, its still HIS baby.. if its a night or 2 a month to deal with.. wear Pj;s
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:59 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

  • talk to your s\o ad tell him that his son sleeping with yall makes you uncomfortable and you dont like it and go from there
    jesslovesyou08

    Answer by jesslovesyou08 at 12:00 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I agree with you, however you SO needs to be on board with what ever decision you make. Is the nine yr old afraid to sleep by himself? Does he have night terrors or is he afraid of the dark? If he is just being difficult then no he shouldn't sleep with you. Maybe you could let him camp in your room for alittle while. Set him up with a sleeping bag on the floor. That way he still has his father close but he isn't in your bed. Pjs might be a sacrifice you have to make to keep the peace.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 12:00 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • put your foot down and make him sleep in another room..that is a little tooo freakish for me..im sure his mother would not care for this either..maybe you should bring it up to her..i would tell your dh if he wants to sleep with him they need to pick another room in the house to sleep in besides yours...
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 12:04 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I wouldnt have a problem a night or 2 a month. during the summer he is here for 2 out of the 3 months and he sleeps with us 95% of the time and everyother weekend and tuesdays and thursdays during the school year it is uncomfortable.
    brittanybell

    Comment by brittanybell (original poster) at 12:04 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I think I'd just have to tell my S/O he can't sleep in the same bed. I'st not healthy for him at that age, and you don't feel he should be doing it. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and it has to stop, and ask him how would he feel if it were the other way around. Maybe you shd tell the kid your own DD sleeps alone and she's younger & he needs to grow up & stop acting like a baby. If your S/O doesn't have the nerve tell him, it's your house too so your going to tell him but it would sound better coming from him.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • he is afraid of the dark but he has the computer in his room and has a picture slide show that goes all night and lights up the whole room he doesnt have night terrors. he is just being difficult.
    brittanybell

    Comment by brittanybell (original poster) at 12:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • myangel003

    i have tried that and he says your daughter sleep with you sometimes too.. ( once in a blue moon she is VERY independant) so just leave him alone.
    she sleeps with us maybe once every 2 or so months and she is usually sick. our 1 year olds crib is in our room but that is just because she is a BABY and still gets up in the middle of the night and i dont want to move her into my daughters room and have to be up with 2 of them at 2 in the morning..
    brittanybell

    Comment by brittanybell (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Tell your SO to go sleep in his sons room with him if they have to sleep together. Then you get the whole bed to yourself. It's not ideal, but that might solve the problem.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 12:12 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • That might also show your step-son that he can sleep in that room and that he's safe and then maybe he won't need his dad in their as much anymore.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 12:13 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

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