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Do you threaten to take things away??

I feel bad but I swear that is the only way I can get our son to work with me on certain things like bedtime.. I bought him a special train for sleeping all night and going to bed good one night ( its been a yearly battle since he turned 2 ) well so now the past week I have to threaten to bring "Billy" back to the store if he doesn't go to bed good.. ugh..I have signed up for a love and logic parenting class but I seem to have to resort to this tactic often in our daily grind... :(

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 12:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • Unfortunately with something like this, it only works if you follow through. I do have to do this sometimes with my son. Generally it will be because he is doing something with that particular thing I don't want him doing. Like bouncing his basketball in the living room. Or swinging his lightsabre in passageways where he is likely to hit someone. Then I tell him if I catch him doing it one mre time, he will no longer have that toy. It works for me, and now he doesn't even need to be told. With a child so young, there may be something real going on against bedtime. Perhaps he is scared of the dark or something in his room seems sinister at night or maybe he is too wound up. Sort of eliminate possibilities and talk to his pediatrician before you get too strict on it. Also, if anything changed recently, like he just got a toddler bed, or he is potty training, that will have a big impact too.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:14 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • i only had to threaten one time. i told them that if they didn't stop fighting over the toy i would throw it away. they kept on fighting and i actually did throw it away. now all i have to do is remind them to share and they do lol. i'm so mean i know lol
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 12:09 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • mama dont threaten whatever you tell him you will do be ready to do it he will teast you to see if your going to do it so tell him if you dont go to bed i will take billy away and you will get him back tomorrow if you go to bed for me and then if he acts up take the toy dont give in i take my sons stuff he wont help me pick up i take the toys for the next day so good luck
    Kaizensmommy

    Answer by Kaizensmommy at 12:11 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • that's where the strong willed comes in... I have done that too many times to count.. I am very good at follow through but him being strong willed means he will test my strength every day at every fit for every THING.... ugh.. he's SO much like his daddy lol!! my niece was the type of child who needed to be told one time.. .man I envy that haha..
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • My son is 2 and I don't think I've ever threatened to take something away. I'll take something away, but I don't really threaten. He knows when he's misbehaving. If he's hitting a toy on a lamp that might break I take the toy away and tell him why he can't play with it again today... but I don't randomly leverage his things with actions that don't involve them. I imagine that could get into a pretty bad habit. I try to reward his good behavior instead as much as possible.
    Kisses4Henry

    Answer by Kisses4Henry at 12:13 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I don't ever threaten something unless I intend to follow through. Our big thing is tv. If I tell her to do something and she's dragging her feet because she's watching tv, I tell her once to get busy or the tv goes off. She knows now I will do it, so I don't usually have to follow through.
    elasmimi

    Answer by elasmimi at 12:14 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Kaizen - I am actually really good at that - and my place to take it away and put it is on top of the fridge.. i tell him 1 time and if I have to repeat myself it gets taken.. problem is that he actually gets excited to get it taken away.. and I don't really know whybut he says will you put THIS toy on the fridge too - or he will say Ok , then I can have it back in a couple days when I am a better listener.. like really???
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 12:14 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Mom1step1 - he HATES to sleep - just like his father.. its a bedtime battle he has a nightlight ( I've tried 3 different colors ) a fan for white noise since he is such a light sleeper but like his father, he just hates to go to bed, they are both afraid they will miss something.. maybe I came off wrong in the post but I don't threaten over and over and over ... like with no follow through - he gets 1 chance but he never has a problem with this being a chance he takes every day all the time..
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 12:17 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Threats are a double-edged sword. Use ONLY as a last resort, because they do not work for long. I used threats with my teenager, but it backfired more than it worked out. As a young child, the 1-2-3 thing worked pretty well as long as we were consistent. We also had to shut off all lights and tv for about half an hour so nobody thought they were missing anything. Trying to get 4 small ones that ALL think the world is going to go by without them was a challenge.
    WyndenSkie

    Answer by WyndenSkie at 12:23 AM on Aug. 28, 2010