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Found my hubby watching porn/rape related?

What the hell does it mean when my husband is watching women being victimized and role playing they are being raped/molested. Why would he be interested in that? I am disgusted. HELP ME

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 AM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I would ask him about it

    Answer by mamaofficer at 6:26 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • For some women that is a fantasy. (of course it being someone they know..hopefully) I would ask him why he chose that particular one.

    Answer by heidi37217 at 6:32 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Sometimes there are things that can be a turn on that are not considered normal by a lot of people. I know I have had fantasies about other men and/or women with me and my husband....but it's not something that I would ever try. It's more like my make believe situation that just stays in my head. I'd never want to share my husband with anyone and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. Roll playing is a big part in a lot of people's sex life, as long all parties involved consent then there's no harm. But what works for one person make not work for another. Just because he watched it....does not mean that it's something he'd want to do. It's just a make believe scenario. Talk to him about it, I'm sure you'll feel better. Good luck!


    Answer by how_reb at 6:34 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I think its just a fantasy that he has. Trying new things is always fun and exciting. Good luck.

    Answer by missthang42001 at 8:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Porn is mostly about pretend. I'm a tomboy and have the so called pleasure of watching porn with guy friends. They find a lot of what goes on in those movies as gross and disgusting too. But its like watching a trainwreck. You know whats coming, you don't want to watch but your curiosity gets the better of you. If he treats you and the other women in his life well, I wouldn't put too much stock into it.

    Answer by van5 at 8:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Well, my first thought is being attracted to something like that is a huge warning sign . I would absolutely talk to your DH because there is a good chance he has witnessed a woman being victimized, or was victimized himself sometime in his life. If that is the case he should get help ASAP. If I were you, I would approach him with concern but also be cautious.

    Answer by Namaste17 at 8:07 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • It is not the "Rape" That is a turn on it is the Power struggle, Talk to him about it.

    Answer by mommas3cubs at 8:10 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • It is just a fantasy. It doesn't mean anything. He's not actually doing it.

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:20 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Oh for heaven's sake, relax! He's not about to turn into a rapist/molester. There are plenty of people who are into domination and submission, power and control, or whatever other label you want to call it. The point is, this is about his FANTASY. Don't ridicule him or make him feel ashamed or embarassed over it just because you're not into it. Human sexuality comes in all shades and variations. You can lovingly tell him that it definitely doesn't turn YOU on, but that you are more than willing, and excited, to find something new that turns you BOTH on. Then have fun and explore won't be sorry!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:49 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • If he was watching actual "rape" porn, I would be concerned. That's a little different that run-of-the-mill domination/submission stuff, which is between CONSENTING adults. I'm a little surprised at all the women pooh-poohing this as if it's nothing. I'm certainly not implying that he's a closet rapist, but I would absolutely be concerned and try to have a discussion w/ him about it.

    Answer by vicesix at 9:02 AM on Aug. 28, 2010

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