Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Why do mothers think their fathers have no right to their children?

If you take your child and your DH/SO/BF doesn't know your kiddnapping. That is in the event he doesn't know where you are and you haven't contacted him about your child. Seriously women he is father of your child so he indeed has the right to know where your taking them. My sister took her daughter to washington when her DH was working and he called and reported her kidnapped. Guess what my sister spent sometime in jail because of it.. So again your childrens fathers have rights. Even if your don't like it


Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I agree that father's have a right to know where the children are, with the exception of cases of abuse. If a man is abusing his wife, then she may HAVE to escape and not tell him where she is going for safety reasons. Other than that, I believe you are completely right.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:12 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Well I took my DS and moved out. I did not tell his father I was going. Why? Because he had threatened to kill me if I left him and since the reason I wanted to leave him was because he was verbally and physcially abusive toward me. I would rather be alive, thank you very much. I had pre arranged things with the court. And we eventually worked out a visitation schedule that prohibited him from picking him up where I had moved. He also needed to go to counseling to calm down before I could give him my new address.
    7 years later, he and actually work well together for the sake of our child and if I need someone to watch our child, I will call him and offer him first dibs on it, as well as I pretty much give him any extra time he asks for.

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:14 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Every situation is different so you can't say all mom's are wrong for doing this. Luckily my ex-husband and I get along well and he pays support and is very involved in our son's life so I have not complaints. As the above mothers have stated though, if he was abusive to the wife or children or was sexually molesting them then I can understand why they would run. If not only to protect their children but also themselves. No one knows what REALLY goes on behind closed doors so no one can judge or think they know the whole situation.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:23 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • My nephew is in prison because of the same thing.It's sad.The way I look at it is...Regardless if he is a dead beat dad (or mom),whether or not e/she is not paying child support,the real victim is the child and by keeping the child away from a parent is hurting the child.Parents need to stop using their children to hurt the other parent.Children are not pawns you use in a game to hurt the other prent.I hear and see it alot .And it breaks my heart.Even supervised visits are better the none at all.

    Answer by bvannkissy at 12:54 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • So if the father is a rapist/molester and a child beater he still has rights? I don't give a shit if I get thrown in jail if I am taking (NOT KIDNAPPING)out of a dangerous environment into a safe that jail time is worth it. If my husband was a monster I would make sure he never saw his children again.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:12 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • What you are saying is not true for every state.

    And if a man is hitting a woman, trust me, the kids are next in line. If my baby's father hit me, I'd take the child and run too.

    Answer by Fallaya at 9:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • well in NY both parents have rights and unless one has specific custody, either parent can take the child somewhere without consent.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 12:22 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • personally I feel that my sisters ex should have no right to their kids! He's a friggin looser..He sits on his butt all day lives off the state pays NO money gives nothing to her for these babies. Oh also out getting other girls pregnant. She lets them go see him maybe once a week if it's in his plans. She has to give him her wic while theyre there so she knows they will eat..Then while they are there he sleeps the whole time. Other than that he's busy getting high..and when she getts them back the baby has a bad diaper rash.Father or not why should he get to see them? He plays no father role to them..I keep them and feed them all week for free (my choice yes) so she can work to support them..Looser!! I'm just glad she finally left his ass after all those years.

    On the other hand if dad is a good dad and doing what he can to help out..Yes I agree with you!


    Answer by bizima4 at 12:34 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • In situation where abuse is present and your didn't report it to the police then your still at fault. Just because your spouse beats you doesn't always mean he will beat his kids. If your spouse is a child molester and you have more then one child with him and stayed with him you don't deserve to have your children they are better off in a safe home and environment.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:59 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I have many friends who try to use their children against their spouse ("I'll take the kid and you won't get to see them!") - I'm not like that though. I told my husband if we ever got divorced, I'd live near him so we could have 50/50 custody. I don't know anything about abuse or any of that stuff -- the 'friends' I'm talking about, their husbands aren't BAD (abusive, molesters, ect) guys. It's just relationship drama. I hate it when people do it (if there is no abuse, ect present).

    Answer by Blubuni99 at 1:05 PM on Aug. 28, 2010