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The romantic feelings are no more...does that mean we're not in love anymore?

My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 7 years. We are very comfortable with each other (obviously), and we get along ok. The problem is, we don't have those romantic, heart-fluttering feelings anymore. Is this normal for people in long-term relationships? He seems to think there is a problem, and I don't. I KNOW I love him, even though I don't have those mushy gushy feelings!

Can you help us?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Those feelings are lust,and lust fades. If it fades and comfortable love remains,that's very good. I'll take that over crazy,romantic gushy stuff anyday!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:48 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • my husband and i have been together for 7 and half years and we dont always have those romantic, gushy feelings. i know i love him but i dont have that first love feelings all the time anymore. sometimes i fake it to make. i think its natural in all realtionships. i adore him.

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 9:47 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • You have to work on the romantic feelings. It's too easy to forget the other person is there, to go on about your routine rather than snuggle up to your honey and focus on him.

    Answer by lovinangels at 9:41 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Once you've become comfortable in a relationship it's easy to get almost too comfortable and lose those 'mushy gushy' feelings you had when you were first dating. Although I wouldn't assume that this meant you weren't in love any more, I would suggest perhaps trying to rekindle some of the old feelings. Maybe you could do something romantic together, go out, try to make it special?

    Answer by SarahBel at 9:41 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • those butterfly feelings are lust and excitement you get when you enter a new relationship, if you base love off of that , you are sure to be disappointed. real love is a choice and i agree with butterfly blue.. i rather take the real love over the butterfly feelings in my stomach any day


    Answer by 3xangel at 11:09 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Maybe it's something that you used to do that he's wanting. I would start planning romantic evenings together. Doing things just because like a massage or run his bath cook a big dinner or something. Change it up a little.

    Answer by luvmynubabe at 1:27 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Try making dates. Yes, you do become comfortable with each other, but you also should know each other's likes and dislikes. Do sweet things for each other and those romantic feelings will return.

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 9:40 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Romance is an artificial construct of society designed to create reasons to buy flowers, chocolates and overpriced wisps of polyester.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:28 AM on Aug. 29, 2010