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I don't spank, but she do I explain this to my toddler?

I am taking my my 2 year old with me to visit my sister and her 3 kids.

I do not spank my daughter-never have, never will, but my sister spanks her kids.

My SO asked me what will I do if my sister spanks one of her kids in front of our daughter? How will I explain to my daughter that hitting is not ok, but it's ok for her auntie to hit (or spank or whatever term you use).

Any suggestions?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Honestly, I would just ask my sister if she's going to spank one of them either leave the room with them or let me know so I can have him leave the room. That way the adults can control it and leave your daughter out of it.

    Answer by Kisses4Henry at 9:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Why is it so hard to simply say "that's what happens when they get in to trouble"? I mean, we've had to explain punishments we find odd when others use them, and that's all we ever tell them. "When so and so's kids get in trouble (insert punishment) is what happens, just like when you get in trouble you get a (insert punishment)..." Really not hard!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • yes, you should keep your kid from her aunt no lol.

    she's gonna learn soon enough that spanking is a form of punishment for some...just tell her that instead of getting a time out like she does, her mommy prefers to give them a spanking. i'm hoping your sister puts doesn't spank before trying something else? if she does try time out, and she still needs to spank them, tell her that obviously time out doesn't work for her cousin, so they needed a swat on the butt to get the message across.

    better now than when she comes home from school asking why her friends get hit on the butt when they're bad...

    Answer by armywife43 at 9:59 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Talk to your sister and request that she does not spank her kids in front of your DD. It's not an unreasonable request, although if she does not comply, you could explain to your DD with your sister present that hitting another person is not okay. If she won't censor her form of punishment, don't censor your explanation to your daughter.

    I personally do spank, but not often, and NEVER in front of my DD friends or family. I don't like humiliation as a form of punishment, and that's exactly what spanking in public is.

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 9:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • do you think she will spank them in front of your child? hopefully you will not have to tell her anything because hopefully your sister will spank them in another room?

    Answer by CoolMommyofboys at 9:54 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Yeah maybe you should just ask your sister that if she is going to disipline her children to just be mindful of your daughter and try not to let her see it so it can all just be avoided.

    Answer by Finkette at 9:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • You can always just explain to her that you have different ways of parenting and that while you don't think it's right to spank a child there are people in the world that do. Make it something short and easy for her to understand but try not to put your sister down for it.

    Answer by colethky at 9:59 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Perhaps you just shouldn't go. Then you won't have to explain.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:54 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • maybe when you notice the situation getting heated and you can see a correction about to happen you could distract, or even remove the child from view. i assume that there are warnings before that happens, otherwise it may not work. i think it may be okay for her to see it though, that way you can explain that people do things differently and you can tell her about why you feel it isn't okay but why auntie does. it's not bad but it's different. just like how rainy days aren't bad it just means that you find something great to do inside with momma. best of luck and i hope both you and yours have a great time visiting family.

    Answer by candle5 at 9:58 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • what sabrina and armywife said.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:38 AM on Aug. 29, 2010