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5 Bumps

I just need answers....what is his problem???

If hubby was attracted to me then he would want me more right? Im so sick and tired of all the lonely nights. Yeah were in bed together but hes on his side and im on my side and we meet in the middle (if im lucky) 3 times a month. So far this month it has been one time. I have told him how I feel, spelled it out to him, explained that I desire him, but nothing changes. I dont want to be the one to suduce him because honestly I feel so unwanted and I dont know what his problem is but if he doesnt want me I dont want to force it. He is so good when we do it and before we married I got it often but for the 6 years we have been married its been like this. Im just at my wits end. We work the same hours and ride together and he doesnt go anyplace by himself very often so I dont think its another woman. He is 9 years older than me so I dont know if that has anything to do with it or not but damn im in desperate need for some loving!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • maybe you do need some time apart. not in a bad way but it is healthy to spend some time apart. not alot maybe just half an hour. it may bring something to talk about or a reason to greet him at the door with a hug and kiss. hope it helps

    Answer by candle5 at 10:46 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Hm. We 'meet in the middle' (lol) probably 4 times a month... we have a one year old and a two year old, and by the time we go to bed I fall sound asleep. I know he probably feels the way you do...

    Answer by crystalhuskey at 10:48 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • Have you asked him what his problem is? Due to the age difference, I'm really just guessing he is just tired. Sometimes based on the man's personality, that may be the only reason. But Maybe he also has lost that "interest", and may need some "help" (if you know what I mean). Sometimes it's something so simple and we don't even realize it. But that's just my opinion.

    Answer by kaykays_mama at 10:50 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • You are spending way too much time together!

    Answer by missthang42001 at 10:52 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • It may be time to see a dr. Changes like that should really be discussed. It could even be as simple as low testosterone. And I know what you mean about not feeling desired but have yourself a great day get a haircut, new outfit, nails done something to feel good about yourself and seduce the hell out of him. If that doesnt work I know he would be seeing the dr.

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:52 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • ask him whats going on and make a dr appointment just in case

    Answer by 3xangel at 10:54 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • you could always instigate the intimacy, instead of waiting for him to make the move. Is he on any medications or anything that may have lowered his libido? It may be a physical problem. Also he just may be too tired. I doubt it's because you aren't desirable, or else he wouldnt marry you in the first place.

    Answer by gtwerd at 11:00 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • If he's having trouble performing, he should go to his doctor. Maybe Viagra?? LOL! Depression can also affect someone's libido.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:14 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • 3 times a week for a couple who are only six months in the marriage? according to me that doesnt seem normal, or maybe the rights words are, there is definatly something wrong. well i suggest you tell him that realy bothers u and if he has any problems to seek help weather its physical or mental. gl

    Answer by ashley387 at 12:40 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • You should tell him to go to the doctor. I heard that there is something in some men that decreases their sex drive. It may not be that it's he just doesn't want you. Think about it.

    Answer by luvmynubabe at 1:18 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

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