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My mom is just not someone I think I need in my life...

I love my mother. I really do. But my family has a lot of problems. She and my step father are the most deranged people I have ever met. They believe that they should trust no one, have no friends (since they are married and each others friend), they encourage my brother to be physically violent to prevent bullying, not to mention have threatened my husband since we have some marital problems... She tries to make me feel that there is something wrong with me all the time. I feel better (but guilty) when I don't talk to her... Am I wrong for feeling this way?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Nope. I have completely written my father out of my life, and I only speak to my mother when she makes an attempt to come speak to me. I no longer call her or go to her house to visit, and in return, I only have to see her maybe once a month (if that).

    It was difficult at first, because we are always taught to respect our parents and blah blah blah. But when I realized that the quality of my life was better without them involved, it became a lot easier to stand by my decision.

    I say do what you want. They are your parents, your family, and who gives a f*ck what other people think? If this is what is best for you, then you are doing the right thing.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 3:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I don't think you are wrong to feel that way at all. My mom makes me feel like I can never do anything right and my sister can never do anything wrong. I don't talk to my mom and I don't feel guilty about it at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • no, i think you need to set boundaries and what you mom can do to effect your feelings and if she crosses them then it's best to avoid that. although i suspect that you haven't told her how you feel and what boundaries you have set. i would just be up front and say hey i don't want this to occur or that. i don't believe in your ways so don't infringe them on me. without speaking and avoiding her well your just avoiding problem and not getting any closer to resolving it. if she can't abide by them then just see her less until she gets the message and learns to respect your wishes.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:10 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I know what you mean my mom is the same way... I feel like a better nicer person when I dont' talk to her... Do what's best for you and your family...
    MAyers

    Answer by MAyers at 3:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I wrote my mother off a couple years ago and am still astounded by the way my life changed for the better. I can't feel guilty because of who she is. That is my reality. I wish it were different but it isn't.
    We sometimes have to make unpleasant decisions in our life.
    Oh and by the way......feeling guilty for avoiding people who hurt us is false guilt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • No you are not wrong because if u don't remove yourself from their drama you will some how be in the middle and you know thats not the best place to be. Especially when it comes to your husband and your relatives. So do like I do love them from a distance i accept phone calls and all but when enough is enough cut them loose. give them time to miss u and want you back. cause parents miss the older children as time goes on.  good luck

    CAPRICORN_410

    Answer by CAPRICORN_410 at 4:21 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I've been through some things in the past year, and I've come to realize that I don't like my mom, in a sense, even though I love her. She is stubborn, bitter, mean, judgemental, and more. Although I won't cut her off, I just don't feel the same since we had a really big blow up and I feel sort of at peace with it. You need to do what is best for you and your family. Loving our parents and relatives is often taken for granted, and we don't get much of a choice about who we are related to, but we can chose who to spend time with. I know my mom won't change at her age, so I feel comfortable living my life, my way. You are not alone.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 7:31 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • no i know how you feel my father god bless him is in a nursing home and can come home at anytime but my mother acts like it would be too much of aden for her so there he stays cant wait til its her turn i actually let them shut off my phone so she couldnt contact me
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 12:29 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I feel the same way about my entire family(meaning dad and siblings) Mom was great but she passed away and the rest arent worth my time. They call when they need something and nothing else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

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