Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

another child?

has anyone's SO/DH ever said one of us would have to give up more if we had another child?It isn't that she doesn't want another child she just doesn't think that they can afford it or the time away from work. Aa friend of mine told her DH that when he asked her to have another baby. Does anyone agree? I am not sure what to tell her since I don't agree with her but I am at a ladies have at it!

Answer Question

Asked by candle5 at 10:55 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 13 (1,333 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • umm... I don't understand.. I think most people have to give up extra's if they want more kids .. we are only having 1 because we only can afford the one

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • I don't think people can ever fully afford a child. that's what I told her, and it doesn't make sense when you can afford the latest make up and purses but you can't afford diapers now? I'm lost too

    Comment by candle5 (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Aug. 28, 2010

  • One of us is going to have to give up more time??? It sounds like he thinks it won't be him. But truthfully, it will take time with both of them, not just one. It's your friends body and I would think that she should decide what to do. It should be her decision not his.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:11 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Sounds like she just doesn't want another right now. I don't see anything there to disagree with.

    Answer by Jessica157 at 1:13 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • she may be comfortable with the number of children she already has.. right now she may have security and comfort and feels that another baby might upset that balance in her life. There is a lot you give up when you have a baby.. financially, time wise, emotionally, etc. I'm not saying they aren't worth it, but sometimes a person can only handle so much... and if you throw another baby in the mix of something they BOTH aren't fully ready to commit to, the person that looses out the most is the baby.

    She know's what's best for her and for a future child right now, she is the mother.. and if she feels she can't balance it then it's best to let her make that decision and leave it up to her and her husband. No offense but it really isn't anyone else's business but theirs if they are ready for another child or not. Like I said, if they aren't the person that looses out is the baby.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:34 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • We've decided that one child fits our lifestyle, income, and personal choice. It's not hard to find someone to watch one child, my attention is not divided, I can afford to do more things with the one. For some people the ideal number is three, six, ten, twenty. It's all personal choice. Another child IS more time, work, money, love. The more kids, the thinner you spread yourself. I'm not downing anyone for having as many kids as they want! I simply respect someone who chooses not to have more, or any, children than someone who has them then doesn't want to take the responsibility.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:58 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I think it is her choice she knows wht she can handle and what she can't like me I have 2 DD 1DH due 9/17 and 2 SS and I know after each of my dd I gave up jobs friends time money emotions lol and here I am doing one mor time plus my ss that get all that too lol I know I want more kids but I can def not handle more any time soon lol it's just what is right for her

    Answer by msh88 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • We are choosing to have only one child. We can do more, provide better, and overall feel more secure in all areas having only one child.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:29 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Well DH and I knew having a second would be more time consuming and costly. Having another child to love, and being able to give our DD a sibling to grow up with, outweighed any of the potential negatives. :) Your friend's DH sounds nervous about it. He may not be quite ready at this time.


    Answer by KairisMama at 12:34 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.