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I have caught my dh in so many lies throughout our many years of marriage (not cheating but porno, gambling, drinking, etc.) and I'm still having a difficult time believing and trusting him even though he is not doing those things anymore. That I know that is! I've told him how I feel but he just keeps quiet. How can I trust him again?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Aug. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • For me, in my past relationships, it seems that time is the only thing that helps rebuild the trust. It takes a very long time of acting the right way and telling the truth, but eventually the trust will be rebuilt. Of course, it also depends on how severe the lies were. Good luck to you and I hope time heals for you as well.
    EthansMom519

    Answer by EthansMom519 at 12:01 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Maybe you two could do some counseling. Good Luck!!
    Mazie0723

    Answer by Mazie0723 at 12:02 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • He'd have to give me at least a year or more straight of NO lying at all for me to trust him again. He's lied to you so much you feel like you're just waiting around to be gut punched again. It's hard to let your guard down. I would probably try therapy, as a couple or just you. Trust is the hardest thing to rebuild.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:03 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • good luck hun it just takes time
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 12:03 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Hard to trust someone who lies to you and hurts you and treats you with NO respect
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I have the same issue with my SO, I have caught him in sooooooo many lies too. And I don't even snoop, he leaves the proof out in the open where I can find it. I have OCD and pay a huge amount of attention to detail though. I will NEVER trust him again, I told him that before we even became a couple (lie to me just once about the tiniest thing and you lose my trust forever). I am a tell-it-like-it-is person, so I tell him ALL the time that he "Is a liar, and I cannot trust him". Of course he immediately turns it back on me even though I have NEVER lied to him about anything EVER. I don't know what to tell you really.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:21 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I would try counseling but it doesn take time to trust again. You'll learn to trust him again.
    luvmynubabe

    Answer by luvmynubabe at 1:13 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Yes you dont trust him, understandably! Its hard to be someone that doesnt trust you. Go get some counseling quickly before your marriage ends
    35yoamom

    Answer by 35yoamom at 8:01 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

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