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6 Bumps

I don't know what to do anymore.. I thought I had it all planed out..

I wrote here a couple of week ago about my husband cheating on me. He's a military man and he's been seeing this young lady. A couple of days ago, he's been instant messaging me how much he loves me and wants to make things work. Just yesterday, he wrote a long paragraph while drunk telling me how he misses me and it kills him inside how stopped talking to him and he wants our marriage to work. A couple of hours ago, his skank message me on facebook teling me how he's her "man" and I need to get over it. I warned her a couple of weeks back about him but of course she ignored it. I contacted my M-I-L and she told the girl to call her. She spoke with the girl and made her cry. She told her the truth about how my husband is only using her. He calls his mom and he told his skank and his mom that he was still in love with me. Now I don't know if I should still divorce him or see a marriage counselor. I still love him...


Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 AM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I am military - and yes, report his behavior but don't bother unless you're leaving him.

    Of course the girl wouldn't believe you - you're just the crazy woman who doesn't meet his needs and doesn't really care about him, you're the one driving the two of you apart because he, of course, is the blameless victim and you're just plain no good.

    Seriously. Don't you think that's what she's been told?
    To try to communicate (or to have his mother do it for you) with the other woman is just plain nuts.

    He's a cheater. Get rid of him. Let him run to her. He's a cheater. He'll cheat on her too. It's who he is. It's what he is. He's trash. Take out the trash. Don't behave like it.

    Answer by snivic at 1:43 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Honestly all of it sounds so immature. He's behaving like a young uncommitted guy - wants what he wants when he wants it. He has no idea of what commitment, loyalty, trust, or responsibility is all about - frightening that a person like that is in our military.
    You contacted his mommy? really? so his mommy called his mistress? You're an adult - why behave like a child and go to mommy?

    He's a cheater. Bust him for it. Hand it to his superiors and your divorce lawyer. Or don't and decide that being cheated on is what you want/deserve. But whatever you do, YOU do it.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 9:48 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • That's not love and that's not a relationship. Divorce him and get on with your life. And leave his mother and his girlfriend out of it - you don't need to be "warning" her or having his mother fight your battles either. End the bad relationship and move on.

    Answer by missingruth at 9:51 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Why are you talking to his girlfriend and to his mother? You should be talking to him.

    Sounds to me like he is using you, not her. You're the one raising the kids and being responsible while he goes and plays with the one he wants to be with. You're getting used and she's getting the fun.

    Answer by Gaccck at 10:06 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I'd tell the jerk to kiss his career goodbye,report his adulterous behavior to his CO, divorce his ass, and stop playing middle school games crying to his mom and getting pissy with his girlfriend.

    Answer by 3boysandmekmcd at 10:16 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Maybe space and counseling make sure you have it out a slight break to make sure staying together and counseling to make sure he is okay and you are okay. Only you will know. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:19 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER.I think that if you give him another chance he is just gonna do this to you over and over again. If he really wanted to be with you he would have NEVER cheated on you. I think you will be better off without this hubby or yours. Grated i could be wrong about this but i have never not see this shit happen over and over again.

    Answer by raemommy at 4:24 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • you have much more rights with him being in military! He is violating code of conduct, can be demoted etc, and the military will be on your side. ESPECIALLY since you have E Proof of the other woman. Which may possibly be why he is so intent on wanting to work things out, although I do pray he does want you.
    I would seek council from the military leason (sp?) for spousal issues, and maybe get some counceling for yourself before you make a decision.
    Also, from a woman scorned, once that trust is gone, can you be the strong woman you want your children to model? And I've found in the past that when you take them back, it kinda gives them a license to do it again cuz they know you'll be there.
    Good Luck, and don't lose yourself in this!

    Answer by litlfut26 at 6:40 AM on Aug. 29, 2010



    The above is a link to Military One Source, a 24/7 service for all military branches and their families. 1-800-342-9647


    If the woman he is cheating with is also on active duty, both of them are in trouble. That really gets under commanders skin. I hope he can come to his senses and realize that you and your family and your marriage is worth fighting for. If this skank won't leave him alone, put a restraining order out against her. And if she is active duty, contact her commanding officer, that will set it straight. If it does go to divorce, look up your state laws, you can sue the skank for alienation of affection and she will pay dearly for that.


    Answer by Joeygoat at 7:32 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

    He CHEATED on you. He slept with another women behind your back. Is there any love in someone doing that to you? Seriously. Put yourself in his shoes .. You go and find someone else to sleep with, find someone else to share feelings with that's not your DH. Sleeze out behind his back. Would you really see that you're still in love with your DH if you had to go find someone else to get attention from? I don't care for his reasons, they're all a bunch of crap, because you don't do that to someone you love.

    He doesn't love you, you're a convienence to him when his fling didn't work out! DIVORCE HIM!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:17 AM on Aug. 29, 2010