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I don't like one of our pets, but DH feels sorry for him?

We rescued a litter of kittens about 3 yrs ago (3 boys 2 girls). Well, the one boy (Beta male) got violent so we had to get rid of him. The other boy (Omega Male) is still shy and scared of us after all this time, Dunno why, but I have given up trying with him. He's not a people cat, and I'd be happy not wasting resources on him anymore, but my DH seems to like him and doesn't wanna give up just yet. Its been 3 yrs, the cat isn't going to change.

His remaining bro (Alfa male) and sisters are very social and friendly and loved right in front of him, but he still spooks and hides. Hate cats like that. Thats not what having a pet is about (to me).

I wanna give the cat a new home, anything I can do that will appease the DH? I considered doing it during one of his business trips, but that might be too underhanded.


Asked by Zoeyis at 6:30 AM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Pets

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Answers (12)
  • I had a cat the was semi-feral when I adopted her from a shelter. She was about 2 years old at the time and never truly got over her shyness. My friends and family referred to Winnie as the ghost cat because they never saw her. As the years went by she did become very affectionate at night when I was in bed and it was quite. If I had Tuna fish she was like a differant cat. She was never an in your face kind of cat but she was special in her own way and left her mark when she passed a few years ago. You might ask your vet about trying prozac or another drug it might help or even comfort zone with feliway plug ins

    Answer by KyliesMom5 at 4:00 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • wow, sorry I just find that sad that you would get rid of the poor cat because he isnt sociable. I guess just tell your dh that you dont want a boring cat and want to get rid of it

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:39 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I am on your dh's side. If I gave up on my Siamese who hates everyone, I would feel like I failed her. She has her moments when she is nice. I have had her for over 15 years. I have a new cat, a Russian Blue, and they are like tempered to the Siamese, he only likes me and runs from everyone else. Sometimes you get a pet that is not the perfect pet, but you knew that when you rescued these kittens. I would not get rid of the cat while dh is away on a trip. What an awful way to come home to.


    Answer by Joeygoat at 6:49 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • you should have mentioned before that it bites and growls.. you made it sound like you wanted to get rid of it strictly because it didnt want to cuddle with you. It may be scared because all these other dominant cats are around, maybe he is a single cat home kind of cat and talk to your dh about how the cat is unhappy and needs a new home

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 7:47 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • ya I guess with juggling the issues of twin Autistic kids, its hard to find time for a creature who doesn't like us when we saved its life and give it a roof and food. Basically what I'm doing now is all but ignoring him, paying attn to the other cats who want attn and my family issues. I'll pet him if he allows it, but I don't do it for long. He's a Chartreaux mix. They are usually social, but this one isn't.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 7:02 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • thats not nice at all .. our cat doesnt interact much with me but i wouldnt think of rehoming her .. a pets for always not to get rid of cus it doesnt fit

    Answer by san78 at 7:20 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • if it bites and growls at its owners, then yeah, it sorta does need to be somewhere else.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 7:24 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • The fact you don't pet it for long when it allows you to could be what's causing it to be unsociable. Cats need to be touched and loved on in order to be socialized. I wouldn't get rid of it either. We had a cat that wasn't a very good pet, but I didn't want him going to another home where someone wouldn't understand him. At least with us he had a good home, shelter, and plenty of food. We already had a cat, so tending to his needs was easy. He had to be put down a couple of years ago due to a severe UTI and I still feel guilty for not catching it sooner so that he could have been healed.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 10:17 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • He doesn't like to be approached and only allows petting for short periods. I do it for a short time (before he leaves on his own) in my attempts to build a trust. Also I don't want to get swiped at for petting him for "too long".

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Not all cats ARE social creatures. Some are, some aren't, and some just bond with a single person. But, cats also know who does/doesn't like THEM and they tend to react accordingly ~ just like humans. If someone barely tolerated you, you wouldn't likely go out of your way to spend much time with them either so you really can't blame the cat.

    I've got a kitten (almost cat) that was feral, and terrified of humans (with good reason). We caught him when he was less than 4 months old and for the first month he literally climbed the walls trying to get out, hissed and swatted at everyone, etc. Now he is a lap cat and lies completely still even to get blood drawn at the vets. He was injured (teeth gone, tongue shaved clean) by someone and needed to learn that not every human would hurt him.

    I'd play with the others and stop worrying so much about the one ~ unless he actively harms someone ~ and let him do his thing.

    Answer by Farmlady09 at 1:02 PM on Aug. 29, 2010