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3 Bumps

How important is sex in your marriage? adult content

My husband loves sex. If he could, he would want it at least 2 times a day. We've been together for almost 10 years and we have two young children. He always complains that I never give him any and bugs me everyday at least 6 times a day about giving him **** and doing it. Number 1: I hate being pressured into having sex and Number 2: He constantly mentions sex and that is a major TURN OFF. He says he keeps asking because I don't initiate...bull-ish. He doesn't give me a moment to jump on him. On the days he doesn't ask (usually rare) is when I make an effort (after taking care of the kids, the household, and my WAHM business).

What's difficult too is that I am a "morning sex" person...you know, when I'm finally rested and have energy to do it. He is a "night sex" person.

HELP! I don't know what to do. We argue about it all the time and my husband makes a huge scene that he "shouldn't have married me crap."

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I am in the same situation. Wouldn't it be nice if it could be a romantic time instead of the jump in bed, do it his way, no matter what I say? He makes me feel guilty. Wish I had the answer here for you. If you find it, let me know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I MY marriage, sex isn't a factor, it's just a bonus...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:18 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Men actually have more testosterone in the morning hours which is part of the reason most men wake up with morning wood. I can guarantee you that if you played with his pecker first thing in the AM, he would not complain & in fact be quite happy about it. I wish my DH was more sexual. I would be pychiked if he was trying to have sex all the time. It's a small thin for you to deal with to make your DH happy. You should be glad that he wants to have sex with YOU & does not revert to porn or cheating.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:19 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I had this problem with my ex. He always pressured me n2 sex. I luv sex and like doing it n different places & positions. But I like a man to coax me n2 it. U know play around and make me feel like he's lucky 2 hv me. I hated my ex always just saying "U GONNA GIVE ME SUM?" Such a turn off!! I hope u and ur husband can find a solution bcuz I DIDN'T!! I h8 the feeling that he was only doing me bcuz I was there. Just like most women, I like 2 feel special and wanted & not like any hold hand job.
    SANIASMOM

    Answer by SANIASMOM at 12:26 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • What a guy who doesn't want sex in the am? Wow. I say make a sex schedule. I love sex I wish I had a husband like yours. Tell him that you want to have sex in the am once a week. Pick a day and then go for it. Then he picks a night time day that works and then make it work for you. So the guy a little time and he will be more willing to do the stuff you need him to. He will appreciate you all the more.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:59 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • IM ACTUALLY A SEX LOVER AS WELL SO ID SAY IM ALSO THE TYPE TO WANT IT MANY TIMES A DAY BUT I CAN SEE THAT SOME TIMES UR JUS NOT IN THE MOOD...TRY NOT TO REJECT HIM TO OFTEN THO EVEN IF U JUST GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB I BET HED BE HELLA HAPPY! ALSO MEN USUALLY DO WAKE UP WTH A BONER SO SINCE UR A MORNING SEX GAL THEN TAKE THAT CHANCE TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM DNT FORGET FOUR PLAY THO MEN ENJOY IT ALOT! ALSOAYBE INSTEAD OF ARGUIN ABOUT IT TELL HIM TO JUS TALK TO U ABOUT IT AND LET HIM KNOW SEX ISNT SOMETHIN U PLAN...LET IT HAPPEN ON ITS OWN...BE SPONTANIOUS WITH HIM!!
    GUDMOMMY86

    Answer by GUDMOMMY86 at 1:07 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • You 2 need to meet in the middle some how.

    Me and my SO have sex whenever we can cuz thats one of our ways of reconnecting with eachother. We dont see eachother often because he lives 1 hour 1/2 away from me so he comes on the weekends
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 3:14 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Sex is a very important part of my 25yr long marriage. Sex keeps us connected in more ways than just physical. Sex keeps us in harmony. Sex is beneficial in many ways. Especially for women: orgasms release chemicals/hormones that actually draw us to and make us feel closer to our mates. Sex reinforces an emotional connection for men and women.

    With that said. I honestly believe this: The amount of sex a couple has is NOT the main factor in regards to sex helping in keeping a happy/healthy marriage. What matters is that BOTH spouses are mutually happy, satisfied and fulfilled with their sex life. THIS is the important thing, not quanity. When one spouse is not those things, it can develop resentments and harsh feelings that can fester and start bleeding over into other aspects of the relationship. Being rejected for sex hurts. It can make a person feel: unwanted, unloved, undesirable, rejected, dejected, etc..
    Cont.;
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:45 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • You can see it everyday right here on CM. How women express the feelings they have developed because they are frequently/consistently turned down for sex. It really hits the self esteem, and definitely causes a disconnect in the relationship.

    So. What is overall the absolute BEST... Is for a couple to work together, make agreements, and compromises, in order for them to BOTH be mutually happy, satisfied and fulfilled with their sex life.. When this happens. The room for resentments and harsh feelings to develop has dropped significantly .. The likelyhood of one or the other feeling : rejected, dejected, unwanted, undesirable, ect. Lessens greatly.

    I would also suggest based solely on what you shared. That you guys really work on your sexual communication. Being able to talk about, share anything and everything about sex in honest, open, safe manner. The reactions you guys are having to one another, shows a lack of that.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:48 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • My husband has a strong sex drive too but then so do I. I never deny him but I should add he is reasonable and considerate and fortunately neither of us is a morning person for it.

    The best advice i can give you is to both find a way of NOT arguing about it. i am sure that with patience and goodwill you can reach some agreement without it becoming something which drives you apart when it should be something which brings you together.

    As Pixie says, comminicate. Positively, not negatively.
    janet116

    Answer by janet116 at 11:55 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

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