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2 Bumps

I think my SO MAY BE CONFUSED?!?!?

My SO has said he wants to take a break from the relationship. So why is he talking to me like verything is fine? He calls me and he texts me? WTF? i thought the whole point of him wanting to take a break was so he would have space? I have not intitated any contact with him, at all!! For one thing i am upset with him. He pushed so hard for me to understand the need for the break, so why is he acting like we're fine?

 
EttaMay

Asked by EttaMay at 1:58 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,798 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • He doesn't really want a break.. He doesn't want a pause in the relationship.

    However. He realizes that he is not in the best position (financially, stability..etc) to carry the relationship to the next level. So he feels, that he needs to pause in order to get in the right position to carry the relationship to the next level.

    Many men, have deep seeded issues in regards to: being able to fully provide for their families. And these types of men feel "less" than when unable to do so. They feel that they aren't doing their "job" as the provider/supporter/protector of the family. Some men are smart enough to realize they need to get these ducks in a row first before putting themselves in that position. Some men aren't and sometimes they are miserable (and in turn make others miserable) trying to do those things after family comes along, because they still feel "less" than.

    Let him sort himself. .. Cont.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:34 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • He sounds like he's confused about what he really wants. He probably misses you but doesn't want to sound like a moron for asking for you back ..
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 2:03 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I do not know the whole situation but I am gonna go out on a limb and say he is keeping in touch so that he keeps you close while he is out having a good ol time with whoever he wants,basiclly keeping you as a fall back , not trying to be harsh jmo
    stef1976

    Answer by stef1976 at 2:01 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • From what I've read from Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man" it sounds like MAYBE he is just trying to put his priorities in order... I don't wanna sound negative but if he's truly making sure that he can be what he needs to be for a good healthy relationship with you then he will do what he thinks needs to be done. This same thing happened to me just last year, left me and treated me like we should be great friend - we even started dating other people - long story short we're back together but now we're both more aware of what each other needs and what the give/takes are in our lationship. It may not work for everybody, even me, but my advice is to PLEASE take some of this 'free' time he's given you and just make yourself feel like a DIVA. If he's yours, he'll come around, and you'll make the deci if not, why wait on one man to find out if you're going to be happy, and then never be happy?? I'm just sayn
    numommyto1

    Answer by numommyto1 at 2:16 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • @numommyto1...This is excatly what he said...almost word for word. He feels like we both need to get our stuff together before we can move forward and have a future. He said he loves me and wants a life with me. but his current job and living space doesnt account for that. And even before he said he wanted a break he was sayin how he can't have a family on what he makes. Which is true. I believe this is the man more me. and i will stick it out with him for awhile. it's just the fact that he calls me like everything is fine and we should be great friends. I am still hurt by him wanting a break. I now understand that he isn't rejecting me or sayin this is the end of us. it's just a pause. he said that the bond we have is strong and that it can and will survive this. he also said it's not based on something i am doing or have done. we ust need to get stuff together first.
    EttaMay

    Comment by EttaMay (original poster) at 2:25 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • He doesnt want a break from you then
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 2:55 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • He'll either:

    A) Get his ducks in a row in a manner in which he feels comfortable taking on the role of family provider/supporter/protector., And you guys will move to the next step.

    B) he will come to the conclusion that he doesn't really need to do that... That he is capable of progressing in those stages with you guys together as a family unit. Happily and comfortably.

    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:35 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Have a sit down. What will it mean, no living together? Will you date other people, will you still call but not go on dates, how will the kids see yall, and so on. When will you get back together and discuss it all...
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 4:24 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • No, no no. I don't understand the whole 'I need a break' thing. Or the pause thing. W. T. F. ???? I mean, really? What the hell is going on that cannot be worked out together? I mean, when a couple, married couple, end up getting a divorce for whatever reason, they work out their problems, and get back together, that I get. The relationship ended though. And that's when they worked things out. But a break? What the hell is a break? Either work things out, or end it. A break, or a pause, is just going to cause more hurt, and probably just end up with an ended relationship anyway. See how you are confused as to what's going on? It's because he asked for a break, but isn't acting like you guys are on one. How do you even act when you are on a break? Can you see other people? How can you get your shit straight if you are on a break with one person, but see other ppl. See how breaks make no sense?
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:36 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • well we talked about all that. we WILL NOT be seeing other people. if he does then we are offically over. I am goona chose to believe him about wanting to get our stuff together before we continue. I'm gonna give him space. I think he doesn't really want to be on a break he is just upset and is working through his feelings. it won't last long....cuz if it last too long..I'm finished with him.
    EttaMay

    Comment by EttaMay (original poster) at 5:44 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

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