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How to handle contact from out-of-country family

A relative adopted a special needs child from S. America. Suddenly, I am getting Air mail, registered delivery letters in spanish, apparently from the child's past foster or birth family. My relatives are stressed to the point of breaking and I have been warned not to tell them because seeking money is a common reason for these contacts, and because my family is ready to crack because of these special needs. They can contact the family directly thru the agency, yet have not, or have not been successful - I have no way of knowing. It is not my place. I kept the first letter and didn't worry about it, thinking when the time was right I'd hand it over, but now that a second has arrived, I am not sure how to handle this without causing a rift in the family and unbearable stress in an already impossible situation.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (4)
  • I can translate them for you! Does the first letter say anything about asking for money? They might simply want to know that their child is alright.

    If you want them translated, PM me the letters. I'd be happy to.

    Answer by orangeorbie at 6:00 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Wow, what a strange and tough situation! Does the agency know this is going on? I would contact them and have them handle the bio/foster family in S. America. Maybe you can forward all the letters to the agency, unopened. Honestly, I think I would place your focus on supporting your relative that adopted the child - emotionally and practically (babysit, if you can, etc.). Best of luck!

    Answer by ForeverMom05 at 8:54 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I would find out what the letters say before mentioning them to the family.

    Answer by salexander at 2:52 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • definitely find out what the letters say first..... my son was from the dominican republic and his dad's family always wanted to know that he was okay so i make sure to send them pics and letters updating them on him.. no different than an open adoption in the states... for crying out loud.. just because they are poor and come from a poverty stricken nation or are "from another country" doesn't mean that they don't love and care about that child as much as the rest of us would....

    Answer by momsamillion at 10:44 AM on Oct. 17, 2008

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