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Very depressed. Please help!

So my DH and I had a huge fight yesterday. He wants to buy a house asap but we just don't have the money. I'm about to start some online classes and should be done in 6 or 7 months and will have a good job after that. I think we should wait til I'm done. Well he wants us to move in with his mom who I cant stand to be around and I know it will ruin us. So we said some pretty harsh stuff in our fight and I had to let him know how I really felt. Later that day when he got home from work he just acted really sweet, like nothing happened. Well this is really unlike him especially since he told me he wanted a divorce over and over again. I feel strange, like something just isn't right. I get scared he is planning something behind my back. I could never think of him doing something like that, but you never know. Should I be worried? Has anyone had a husband they thought would never hurt them, just for them to screw you over later?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Ask him! Wouldn't you want him to ask you if he was feeling insecure. There are so many possibilities.

    Also, about buying a house, maybe go to the bank and ask about their requirements. You might find out that it is not possible right now. My husband I both have great credit but he is self employed so we need a huge down payment.

    Good luck with the mother in law!
    jcsscfam5

    Answer by jcsscfam5 at 5:45 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • men are very unpredictabl! you never know what is going through there heads....if i were you i would go with my gut feeling and keep a very close eye on him maybe even look into a what he has been doing when your not around. he might be doing nothing but just be careful men are sneaky and very good liars if they want to be.
    babykins362003

    Answer by babykins362003 at 5:46 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • all relationships go through ups and downs just be honest and tell him your fears its not always what you think times are tough right now
    pegpeg

    Answer by pegpeg at 5:49 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Maybe he has come to his senses and is trying a new approach to a solution to your fight! That's all I can think of....or maybe he's sucking up because he wants something in return! i don't know how your relationship works, so i don't know! i wish i could give you better advice but good luck in all that you do and God Bless!
    Jalisasmommy

    Answer by Jalisasmommy at 5:50 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • he probably wants to say he is sorry but can't express them verbally and show he is being nice. also i agree where your coming from. i felt the same way about buying a house. i was scared cause we are poor. well we have a house and so happy that i let my hubby win on this one. i was so stressed and really dreaded this. what i did was i prayed about it. i said lord you know how i feel and know how situation with money. i pay my tithe and i have faith. so if you feel that we can make it and it's right for us then i will do your will. his will was to have the loan go through or not which it did.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • part 2
    it's harder or will be soon to get approved for loans cause of the foreclosures and such so you might just want to get in while you can. if we waited we wouldn't of gotten approved and now we have a house that already has 30k in equity right off the bat. sure the costs of homes will go down but the chances of getting approved get harder. so even in 6-7 months will not be enough to get approved with the stricter loan approvals being set. will you miss the window of opportunity. maybe, what i would do is shop for houses and get with a lender and see if you can even now get a loan and if you can't then the point is mute.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • part 3
    if you can then maybe you can ask if the lender thinks with the news laws and your income if later you still could. don't automatically think that you will be able to later when you complete school cause you need more then just a few months of income to show. more like 2 yrs or more by then you might not get as good as home cause the market might go back up. considering what we got our house for and what the future hold i feel we made out like bandits. we got a 2400 sq ft house for 127k. total mortgage with taxes etc is $1,004.34 per month
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:22 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Ya but he wants us to live with his mom for almost a year to save money instead of letting me finish my classes and get a good job. I cant live there and wont. If you knew the situation you would agree that we shouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Always go with your gut. I've learned to trust my instincts. Never doubt your self! I've been seriously depressed before. Do what you need to do to be independent, if you get divorced or not. Whatever you do, don't move in with inlaws, it will be the end of you as a couple. Are you on any meds?
    barkingsocks

    Answer by barkingsocks at 7:43 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • My ex screwed me a hundred times over...just be careful!
    mama14572

    Answer by mama14572 at 11:13 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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