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Step parent adoption question.

So we have been married almost two years. My husband is in the MC. So we are looking into him adopting my daughter Mariah. In our house he is already the real father. She thinks her last name is his and everything. Her real father, like most baby daddys is a piece of crap. He doesnt see her, call or anything. When his family reminds him he has a child he will call. When he did see her in person and she acted like she didnt know him he got annoyed and gave up. He is on the birth cert, doesnt pay child support and she has his last name. I know how stubborn he is so I know he wont agree to it, so Im sure it will go to court. How likely do you think it will be for us to get the adoption? Has anyone been thru this??

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Asked by MommyFosberg at 5:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't know what state you are in, but...

    In many states, the birth parent has rights to the child, unless the state takes them away (terminates) or the parent gives them up (relinquishment).

    Chances are, unless he relinquishes his rights or the state terminates them (for abuse, neglect, abandonment or something), your husband will not be able to adopt your daughter unless bio-dad agrees to it.

    In my state, it doesn't even matter if he's not current on child support. He still has rights.

    Have you consulted with an attorney?

    Answer by jarethamarie at 5:59 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • If he's that stubborn & selfish, just remind him that if he gives up his parental rights, you won't sue him for back child support & I think it actually stops if he does. Also, I think any judge would look at the situation with your ex vs. your husband & allow the adoption because it's in the best interest for your daughter' well being (health care, stability,etc.) Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • that's correct... if he signs over is rights he won't have to pay child support....most places anyway

    Answer by VictinaG at 6:04 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • In many states, if he has not paid established child support in two years, he will not be given any choice on the matter, his rights will be terminated for the adoption. I'm in the middle of my hubby adopting my daughter, he's Navy. Check with your base legal, see if they will help you. If has had no attempted contact for a certain period of time (two years?) it's considered abandonment and his rights can be terminated. Finally, if neither of those apply, you can try your odds at forcing him to sign off. I would ask him first. If he says no, I would go and get child support ordered and see how much back child support he owes, then offer to waive it, if he signs off. You might get somewhere that way. Good luck.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 6:51 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I would go to the district attorneys office first to get child support rolling or hire an attorney to do it. Once the Bio has to pay child support he may find it in his heart to give you the signature you need for adoption. You will still have to go through court to do the adoption. In California it take almost a full year.
    If the father doesnt contact you can to do it by establishing abandonment but the most solid adoption is Bio giving up rights willingly.

    Answer by Paula3teens at 11:35 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • i dont know what state ur in but i do know that in utah if u are married and have been stable for a hole year u can go through a adoption service and if u can prove that the birthfather does not pay child support and refuses to help or see her u will have to go to court and u keep in contact with some one in his family for a year they will allow ur husband to adopt her

    Answer by nannasmom201 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I believe it is 5 yrs of no contact or support that it is termed abandonment. It may vary from state to state. Why is he not paying support? Do you have a case against him? It is against the law for him not to pay support weather he chooses to see her or not. Nothing can force him to sign away his rights so you may be in for a disapointment. He sounds like and ass and a loose cannon. I would raise my child knowing who her bio father is by telling her of him but that your DH is the real daddy because he does everything for her and is there for her. My friend was in your exact situation and raised her daughter from new born believing her DH was her 9 it slipped and God what a mess. Honesty is the best policy.

    Answer by salexander at 2:48 PM on Oct. 15, 2008

  • no support, no contact you can have his rights removed with out his permission. I did, my ex had NO contact for over 2 years and he still put up a fight. To save face with his mom I think, but he did. We still won, so I would go for it

    Answer by p6cakes at 10:48 PM on Oct. 27, 2008

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