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The Family Bed = Really? Is the family bed just a fad? Does anyone out there really do it? How does it effect your marriage? At what point do you stop it? I'd like to hear your opinions & stories.

effected sleep, privacy-intimacy, age limits, boundries, inconvenience, closeness, bonding,....

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Asked by TazzMom at 2:40 PM on Jun. 30, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I dont do it and i would never do it, I was a child who slept with her parents for a long time and i feel like it doesnt teach your child to be independent. They need to learn to fall asleep on their own.

    Plus parents need their own space for intimacy. And not only that but its often said to be dangerous to have your child sleeping in bed with you. I know so many people who do it and if thats what they want then thats up to them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I don't know what is considered a "family bed". If it means sleeping ALL night with the kids - then I'm against it.

    I personally had to have my mom or dad lay with me until I fell asleep until I was like 11, I remember my mom teasing me that it was going to be crowded with my husband & her & me all in the bed. But I had nightmares & I had trouble falling asleep.

    Our own children never slept with us but the first thing in the morning they would all pile onto the bed by us for about 1/2 an hour of playtime. tickles & cuddles & gonna getcha's. . . that is one of our fondest memories of our 3 oldest kids being little. Our youngest was 8 years behind them & never did this, she is now 16 & very insecure. Being scared of the dark is a real issue for her. Scared to be home alone like she's not sure we're going to be there. . . I blame it on us being too busy & not taking enough time sometimes.

    But in that sense the "family bed" I think is o.k. So

    Answer by GramaDart at 2:53 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • I was never allowed to sleep with my parents, neither was my sister. I didn't do it when my son was a baby. To this day he sleeps in his own room every night. The only time he is allowed to sleep in our room is if he is sick. And that's only if he asks.
    Children need to sleep in their own bed from the beginning. It teaches independence, how to fall asleep on their own and to deal with their fears. Parents also need their privacy. Bedtime for a lot of people is the only alone time you get! If you spend all day with your kids and then have to have them in bed with you all night, when do you get a break?


    Answer by momma503 at 2:55 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • My son stopped sleeping in our room when he was 4. My daughter stopped at about 8 months. She just wouldn't sleep if we were in the room. lol

    For us it was great. Since at one point there was 4 of us sleeping in one bed, we moved my son's bed out of his room and into ours. He's a bit of a bed hog. lol Sometimes he sleeps with us or I sleep with my daughter (sick, nightmare, storm, etc).

    For intimacy my husband and I would...make the living room after the kids went to sleep.

    Comfort wasn't too bad. Aside from my son trying to take up the entire bed it was OK. He slept better (only had night terrors when he slept in his room which is why he slept with us for so long). And I didn't notice any changes in my sleep.

    Answer by amethystrse at 3:33 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • DON"T DO IT, My family moved 11 times last year and the kids never had their own room and they slept in our bed cause there was no room for a crib and now i can't brib them to sleep in their bed.

    Answer by Combs716 at 4:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • well all my kids co slept but that is only when daddy is gone never had a prob with them getting in their own beds and my oldest is 13 she sometimes still sleeps with me but hey she is very independant

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • 13 month old is still sleeping with us and we love it.
    If sex is a possibility, then my husband puts the baby to sleep in the living room. I take a shower and we spend grown up time in our room. And usually one of us goes and gets the baby early morning.
    It doesn't bother us, but we do wish we could just reach over and grab one another in the middle of the night. We have a room and a bed the baby sleeps in for naps now and slowly WE will let go and let the baby sleep on his own. My husband is just as attached to sleeping with the baby as I am. Our sexual doings (or lack of) has had many changes over the years, all good if not great. This just happens to be, "the golden age of pause for toddler", right at the moment. I really doubt we are inflicting any psychological disturbance.

    Answer by got2bugs at 7:25 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • My son co-slept with us until he was about 1 then he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and we almost lost him so he started sleeping with us again (more for my comfort so that I knew he was ok) he started sleeping in his own bed at 18 months but his bed is still in my room because we have to check his Blook Glucose levels at midnight and 3 am so it not only makes him feel more comfortable about sleeping in his own bed but it helps us with the checks in the middle of the night too... my son is 21 months now...

    Answer by Elizabeth2384 at 3:02 AM on Jul. 1, 2008

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