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How can I get use to Military Life?

My fiance is in Iraq at the present time. He proposed while away. We have been trying to plan a wedding and also our future together. How can I get use to having my life planned for me? And how do I get the wedding that I have always dreamed of when the Goverment keeps changing things?

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Asked by militarywife616 at 7:30 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (25)
  • I would get married at a courthouse or justice of the peace and then plan and have a small ceremony with close family & friends and then have a huge reception with extended family. You get the dress you and wedding you want without having to wait to take you vows

    Answer by Zarviemom19 at 7:34 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Thats just something you'll have to work around. You could plan the "formal wedding" for your one year anniversary and get married at the courthouse when he gets home so, you can get on his paperwork. Its hard having to work around and ever changing schedule but, you'll get it figured out. Plan everything except for the date and then you can find a place that is open on short notice. The Chaplin could marry you in a park. Good luck and have fun.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 7:38 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • And the government can keep on changing it and changing it so if you marry a soldier that is something you have to deal with fast.If you want a really nice wedding wait until he has time from his depoyment to enjoy . I mean don't get married one day and he has to leave the next. Thats not good for him or you.If you know he is coming home for while, then plan for that, thats my opinion. Being married to a military person is going to be different completely than marrying someone at a bank, construction worker, etc. Its something that you just get use to and if you don't know the answer,ask. Not everyone started off a militay wife, dependent etc.No one knows all the answers about being a military spouse, so ask someone and if they know, they will tell you. Good luck

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:43 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • You will find that once you are a military wife it no longer is about you. It's about him and his job. Your life will be planned around his work and deployment. You have no say so in anything and frankly neither does he. It's like the old saying about the military, "If the military wanted your man to have a wife they would have issued him one." :O)  You'll survive! I wish you the best with the weddinng planning!


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • My husband proposed while out of country as well(we married 4 days after he came home then moved across country the next day). And the one thing that I have learned more than anything is you can NEVER depend on ANYTHING to stay the same..If they say it's gonna be one way they can change it at the last second to be the other way. As a miltitary wie you are going to have to get used to making sacrifices in your own life. It's nothing you get warned about but you definantly hear it once you enter the lifestye. Just try to keep a positive attitude towards the changes. And as for your wedding just keep working at it and do your best. I know it can be frustrating to plan while your fiance is so far away and cant talk about it when you want...Good Luck =)

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 7:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • oh another tid bit is that he is married to the military by contract even though your married to him by law and the military unfortunately will ALWAYS come first but you will come first when it is his choice between the two!!

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 7:55 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Military life has it's advantages and it's disadvantages. Unfortunately with this war, deployments seem like they are never ending. BUT, some military wives are the best support groups you will ever find. Just beware that they are all still women and that since there are so many in one place, you come across Awesome!!, nice, mean and down right stupid ones in a small area. Just remember that you'll be his strength at home and support him and do not cheat on him. If you are unhappy and lonely, think about how he feels over in the sandbox.

    Regarding your wedding. Discuss with him the time he can take off to have the wedding. He wont' know the exact date he'll be home, but if you want a fast wedding, you can contact a person who has been certified to perform weddings and if you don't have time to have a reception, plan one for later. You have the ability to make whatever you choose to do, special in it's own way!!

    Answer by ethan0530 at 8:02 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • The military has this great old saying, "If they wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one". You don't get USED to military life, you learn to make the best of it. My dad was career Navy for 33 years. My husband was Navy for 11 years. It's a way of life and it's their way. You just have to roll with the punches and make the best out of it you can, on their schedule........

    Answer by puppieluv at 8:15 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • american flag ribbonGet a bunch of things you really enjoy doing and stay VERY busy! You email, write letters, send videos, share everything. A big fancy wedding is over rated spend it on a huge diamond lol! I would love to have time away to do what I wanted to when I wanted to and still knew I had my honey! If you are marrying a man your life will be planned for you anyway so what's the difference?


    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:29 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • ugh...military life sucks. that's just how it is and how it goes...

    Answer by MedStudentMom08 at 8:38 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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