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4 Bumps

How do I go about finding a new church?

About 7 years ago I walked out of my church and never went back. My son has autism and he would hand flap and rock in church. One day one of the deacons said to me "We think it might be a good idea if you didn't bring him to church as he is distracting, but please keep bringing him to Sunday School, we are hoping that teacher quits."
I was devestated. I went to a few other churches, without my son, but most of the Sunday school teachers seemed hesitant to have him in their class and I admit, I was too afraid to try.
I have another child now and I've been thinking a lot about going to church again. I know I do not want to go back to the place that clearly made me unwelcome, but I was raised in that church and I have no idea how to find another church. Most of my friends are Catholic and I am not or they live too far away, so I can't ask friends. How do I find one that will accept us?

Answer Question
 
layh41407

Asked by layh41407 at 8:48 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • i'd try lookin around your community, tryin a few and stickin with the one you enjoy the most!
    shaysmommy5810

    Answer by shaysmommy5810 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I know you mention you are NOT Catholic, but what are you? Lutheran? Methodist? Baptist? Non-Denominational? Was the church you going to the only one of that "sect" in your area? Or are there others? I would look up the area churches in the phone book, google them, see if they have a website. Review the website see if their teachings line up with your personal beliefs. Many churches layout what they belief and teach right on their websites. Browse them. After doing that if you see one that seems to be close to what you believe or near it then go attend a service and see how "welcoming" it is.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I am a Jehovah Witness in are kingdom hall we have rooms you can be in for loud children, babies really any reason! You can see everything and hear everything
    Patience909

    Answer by Patience909 at 8:58 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Just go sit in on a few differen services an watch how people interact with each other. When you've narrowed it down to 2 or 3 go speak to the pastor and tell him about your past experience and see what they have to say. You will find one that will be a perfect fit, that will accept you and your beautiful children distractions and all Good luck!
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 8:59 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I agree with posters 1 and 3 ... you need to make sure that you are first going to a church that is doctrinally sound. This can be a challenge in and of itself, so immerse yourself your prayer so that you can follow God's leading for you. Once you determine which denomination you would like to attend, I would visit them all with your children. You can find out if any of them have a "special needs" ministry where there would be a special niche for your autistic son. It boggles my mind that there are churches out there where the leadership will actually ask you to leave because of your son .... these people are usually trying to keep their number of congregants up. I'd say stay away from these churches altogether. Any one who thinks that God can't use an autistic boy at their church, doesn't understand the power of God.

    Just keep praying, and ask God to lead you where you should go.
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 9:10 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I meant posters 2 and 4 I agree with
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 9:12 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I was baptized Lutheran and confirmed United Church of Christ. It was the United Church of Christ that asked me to not bring my child. I do not care what denomination it is, as long as it accepts my son. My husband was raised Lutheran, but we live too far away from his church.

    Oh, and Gal51--your response brought tears to my eyes. Even though I have not been taking him to church, I have been telling him about God and Jesus. I tell him that he is one of God's special gifts to me. Them asking me not to bring him is something that has bothered me a lot over the years. My mom actually confronted the man and he said "We didn't ask her to leave our church, we just felt that maybe the boy wasn't comfortable being in church. We told her to keep bringing him to Sunday School" He totally omitted the part about hoping the teacher would quit. Nice, huh?
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 9:22 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • layh41407

    Ugh ... I am sorry that those things were said to you. We had a teen girl in our church with Aspergers and her mom told us how difficult it was to find a church that embraced kids with special needs. People often acted as if they were lepers. I never knew the struggle personally until she shared that with our ladies Bible study. She said that the last church they went to had a ministry geared just for those with special needs, and they were looking to start one at our church.

    Our church family is a small, it may help you and your son to go to a small church that really believes in the concept of the church family. Churches that believe in that close fellowship are much more flexible when it comes to needs of their members. The big corporate churches tend to be more concerned with outward appearances.

    BTW, I was raised Lutheran as well. IMO, you may want to go to a church with similar beliefs. ;-)
    Gal51

    Answer by Gal51 at 9:54 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • look for the steeple and drive towards it
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:06 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Zoeyis
    Thank you for being supportive of another parent who has a child on the spectrum. I appreciate the strong words of encouragement ans support. Awesome!! Thanks!!
    layh41407

    Comment by layh41407 (original poster) at 7:11 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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