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My teenager is testing his boundaries with me?

My step teenage son is living with me and my guy guy, and he is testing the rules of the house that he needs to follow. He also feels that since he works he don't have to do chores around the house. So he and I get into arguments, and it then my guy and him will get into an agrument, because we are telling him that he still needs to follow the rules of the house. Me and my 17 year is not getting along, because when we argue he say hurtful things, and I won't put up with this month. So I need to know how to handle him without getting so angry till I want to put him out, or always having to get his dad into the situation.

Because with him he gets me to that point, and I don't want to be unhappy till it starts causing problems in my relationship with his dad. So please any advice anyone has I am willling to listen.
~Mikesgurl~

Answer Question
 
Mikesgurl1024

Asked by Mikesgurl1024 at 8:56 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • punish him!!! It doesn't sound like you guys follow through with any punishment for his behaviour. take away cell phone, computer time, hanging out with friends, if he gets paid for chores take the pay away. you need to put your foot down, he is walking all over you guys and he knows it and will continue until something is done about it.
    anikahaynes1

    Answer by anikahaynes1 at 9:03 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Teenagers are the most angering people on the planet as far as I'm concerned. It is a really tough time for them They feel grown..but are not. Even at 18 their brain is still not fully developed. If you feel yourself getting angry say nothing and walk away for 10 minutes until you can calm down. You and Dad have to stand in a united front on rules and consequences. The second you don't they wedge into the cracks and blow it wide open. Talk to your husband. When you agree have a family meeting with your son. Tell him the rules and consequences. Follow up religiously every single time. If he starts yelling or speaking ugly put your hand up and tell him "I will not even acknowledge you are talking to me when you speak that way" and walk away.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:04 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • First thing I would do would be to try and talk it out. Make sure he understands that he is doing a lot right now with working a job and I can only assume going to school. Try talking about what things he can do to help around the house some. Tell him that it is only fair that everyone who lives there pitches in. I assume you aren't asking him to clean the whole thing! Maybe set up specific day for specific big jobs he can assist with. Like saying the 3rd Saturday of every month is yard work day and everyone is required to help out BUT when it is done we will order pizza and watch a move. Or making it a rule he does his own laundry. If he chooses not to fold it so be it. If he leaves it int he washer or drier you put it in a basket in the laundry room and he can do as he pleases with it. None of these things are punishments just a fact of life. You have to take care of your things and your home.
    fourisplenty

    Answer by fourisplenty at 9:07 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I have 3 sons that are now adults. I can pass on some things I think will help with the teen years. We home schooled and then they lived with me while they went to college. I think it's a bad idea to live with someone but you probably don't want to change that. I think you need to let him know to stay out of things that are between you and your son. He shouldn't be telling your son anything even if you were married.


    So he feels like he doesn't have to do chores or follow rules. He works and you don't say if he is in HS or college. You may need to reevaluate chores & rules. Focus on what's really important.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 9:11 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • If they are late with curfew, have them stay home the next weekend. If they forget to mow the grass or take the garbage out, have someone else do it and dock the teen's allowance to pay the other (teen hopefully), if they keep the car out too long, they can't use it next time, if they go over on their cell phone minutes, they get some kind of cell phone privlege taken away. write it on the fridge :)

    Good luck.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:14 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

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