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2 Bumps

family

what can I do? I can't spank my kids,for one thier too big,and taking things away doesn't work,talking does nothing. Allowance was taken cause of the fighting and they were given a chance to try again september,so far thats a fail. My husband refuses to follow through with my wishes of no more tv and internet for all the kids till they can learn to behave. I walk outside my house and can hear all the swearing,the name calling,the screaming. I'm climbing the walls here mommas my kids are 9 11 12 15 theirs yelling constantly around here. I imagine people probally feel the bad vibes coming from our home I want it to end. Were too poor to do the money in a jar when someone swears. Is anyone elses house a hell on earth? What did you do to have peace tranquuility,love?

Answer Question
 
MarGeee

Asked by MarGeee at 9:36 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,059 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • my girls are 5 and 3 and the fighting has begun at first it use to drive me nuts, then I began to separate them but found that it does nothing, so when they fight I make them sit down together on the couch if it gets a little worse they have to hold hands and if its still bad i make them hug while sitting on the couch, this may work since they are older and it'll embarrass them, maybe make them clean up together to spend more time together or play a game together to unite them. Your husband should really try to make the situation better not worse. Good luck,
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 9:44 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Okay BREATH !
    some ideas - early bed. extra chores, no TV or internet ( take the power cord for the computer with you if you have to go out), confiscate mobile ph if have them, Take away favourite clothes, hairdryer, makeup ( this works well with girls), punish with family time - eg keep it up & the whole family goes on a day long hike on Saturday. It's hard with the 15yr old, but the younger three are all young enough that you can strip their world if necessary down til they have one set of clothes for school, a mattress & a blanket, and everything else has to be earned back. For every name calling, they have to go out to the yard & bring back 20 weeds
    If they swear, send them for a run to the end of the street & back, they will soon get tired. Or everytime you hear them swear make then clean their teeth - the 11 year old will hate that. Also talk to your school principal, many schools have counsellors etc to help you
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 9:46 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • PS we have 4 kids 16,14,12 & 5 and yes sometimes it is bloody hard work - make the punishment as childish as the behaviour - clean out the fridge, sweep the porch, go to the park and bring back 10 different leaves - what you are doing is interrupting their activity they are enjoying, getting them away from each other and giving yourself some breathing space.
    And if possible sit with your hubby and ask him what he thinks the kids are going to be like as adults. Can he see them growing up into respectful people? He might get on board if he projects what their future holds
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 9:50 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • wow I love your ideas,I showed them to husband too and he says it sounds awesome especially the running down the street part,I would've never thought it up,and I love the weed pulling! your a genius! Thanks ladies for the genius suggestions.
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • Pleased to help - sometimes if feels like the devils spawn are living in your home, but I firmly believe kids act up when they know you don't know what to do about it -once you have a plan they sense it. Have a Brady Bunch meeting , tell them it is a brave new world that this family is a communist state, not a democracy and there is a new sherriff in town. Lay down the law as a united front, tell them their world is about to come unglued and GO FORTH and CONQUER ! You guys can do this! They are asking for boundaries, go give them. Good Luck
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 10:05 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • myheart ..... AWESOME!!!!
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 11:26 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • I've heard of parents trying to act like there kids do to get the point across. Okay, I know this sounds crazy. Maybe if they see what they look like and hear what they are like, they will come to their senses. Otherwise, your husband needs to back you up on taking away the internet, etc.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:05 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Sounds exactly like my house!!! We've done the charts, groundings from tv, computer, cell phone , timeouts in rooms,extra chores...than it occured to us-ignore it! Let them fight to the dealth one less mouth to fee!(HAHA)
    Let me know if you figure what do to-cause thank god school starts tomorrow- I would have been in a padded room for sure if I had to do another day of summer vacation!!!!!!!
    40andholding

    Answer by 40andholding at 1:48 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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