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How can i deal with my oldest acting out

I have 3 kids and i'm pregnant with my fourth. And my oldest is not even 3 yet. She gets so jealous of the other kids that she is acting really bad. SHe will not listen to me at all, always tells me no and to hush, and gets into everything that she knows she is not supposed to because i constantly tell her no. I have a hard time dealing with it. I'm getting to the point where im always yelling at her to quit doing something. I put her in time outs I spank her on the butt. and im just getting no where. I don't know what else to do.
I live in a state very far away from my own family. and I am surrounded by my husbands family. And they are constantly telling me to take a paint stick to her legs. and I keep telling them no, They are always telling me how to raise my kids. I am at my wits end with this.


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Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Aug. 29, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • Maybe take a mommy break from her. Try to not yell and get down to her eye level and tell her not to do certain things. Maybe spend some one and one wit her. She may be feeling neglected.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:37 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • My first step of advice is to step back and take a breather.

    If she's acting out because of jealousy maybe you can reward her with good behavior by taking her to ice cream once a week for some Mommy and Me time.

    However if you're going to encourage her good behavior with rewards then you should be prepared to punish her bad behavior. Once time outs and spankings stop working, try taking her toys away or when you take the other kids to the park make her sit on the bench next to you.


    Answer by bubblycute at 10:46 PM on Aug. 29, 2010

  • OKay, listen, she's not even 3 yet, she has absolutely no concept of sharing, communicating her needs or being the "oldest". It is really easy to look at the eldest child & expect way too much from them, but I promise you, one day you will look back at this liitle girl & be sickened by how much you expected her to understand.
    Children don't learn to share until they are 3, 4 or 20 yrs old. They play along side not with other children til they they are 4 or older. You can teach & help but unrealistic expectations of a 2 yr old is why this isn't working for you. She was born, had you to herself for a few months & has been sharing, waiting on you, putting baby first, being big sister and taking care of herself ever since. She is being naughty because that is age appropriate, testing boundaries, punishing a child who isn't even 3 yet is not just pointless it is mean. cont'd

    Answer by myheartx4 at 3:48 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • cont'd it isn't her fault or problem you have had two and now three more babies in quick succession, so she shouldn't be expected to act beyond her years
    Some ideas are - making the environment as win-win as possible. Make up a lunch box for snacks,a no drip drink bottle, try to have one room that is 100% kid friendly, where she can't go wrong. Also praise for every good thing she does no matter how small, two minutes of nice sharing is worth a lollipop and big Mommy cuddles, you will get far far further with happy smiles and big praise for good behaviour than scolding, spanking and growling, and you will feel better too!
    as for the in-laws they raised their kids, these ones are yours so ignore them, taking a stick to a 2 yr olds backside is assault not discipline.

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:02 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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