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How Do I get my son who is 10 to communicate with me more?

Whenever something happens and/or he has a problem he goes to my BF of 6 yrs instead of me! if hes not around and my mom or his aunt is he will her to. But then he tells them to talk to me about it. Please help me understand why he does this? Thanks

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Asked by SweetCheeks1622 at 6:06 AM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • He's embarassed or wants attention.

    Answer by Gremlyn1980 at 6:36 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • may have Aspergers. Mine OVERLY communicate sometimes, then do a full opposite and don't talk when you want them to.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:45 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I wouldn't take it personally. My son is 12 and has a hard time opening up. He can open to his grandfather and my husband (his step father) more than me. He feels more comfortable talking about certain things with them. My son and I are very close and it means a lot to him that he does NOT disappoint me. So he would rather go to someone else in fear he will upset me. So what I do, if we are alone in the car I will bring topics up. At first he will only say yes or no but after awhile he starts opening up more and more. Let him know that he can come to you. I highly suggest not to wait for him to come to you! Go to him and without being pressuring have talks with him. How is school, what does he think or feel about certain things. Teach him how to open up more without him knowing your teaching him to express himself more.

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 10:29 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Sounds like he's talking to the person he's most comfortable. Be glad he's talking to someone and not just bottling it all up inside.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:24 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My boys are fairly open with me (although I know they have secrets they aren't comfortable talking to me about), I find taking them for a ride to the store helps open them, boys tend to feel more comfortable when they don't have to look at you. Even for some of those hard conversations, it seems to work, or sitting down and playing video games sometimes (I do that with my 12 yr old), watching movies at home.
    However - you need to know they won't tell you everything. I found out this weekend my 16 yr old was kissing a girl in a friends house a few weeks back. He didn't tell me, my friend told me this past weekend. When my son showed up that night at the friends house, I made a comment jokingly about it. He told me he didn't say anything to me because he thought I would be mad. I told him I'd never be mad because he's a 16 yr old boy kissing a girl. There are just some things they don't want you to know.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:28 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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