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I packed his stuff last night and had him leave......

This went on for too long, his says he done for the way i exploded about his mother and every hurtful thing we did to each other. I have had such a difficult time with this that I'm on antidepressants. He says he needs to work with himself and seek help for his resentments and anger i tried to understand that. But then i come to find out he has been sharing our personal business with co-workers and since he feels that time apart would help us his co-worker a female mind you offered to let him move in to sort things out. This was the last straw he still wants to go to therapy but god i just want to fas forward and get my life in order this is too painful and I don't want my kids see me suffering like this. He tells I'm sorry its not you its me I packed his bags and made him go. Now i have to pull myself together because i can not be crying for a man who just gave up on me and his family

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jenlesly

Asked by jenlesly at 7:08 AM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (110 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'm sorry you are going thru this.


    hugging

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:13 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Oh, I'm sorry:( I think I remember your previous question about this, of maybe it was someone else. Do you think that maybe he was using these excuses as a way to move in with this woman because they are seeing each other? Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but it did happen to a friend of mine. He picked fights with her and made a ton of silly excuses as to why their relationship wasn't working out and he ended up moving in with a "friend" to sort things out. Turns out he was dating this girl and was just looking for a way to not look like the bad guy by leaving his wife. Be strong, you will be ok:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 7:14 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • We don't have his side of it and sounds like based on your side that he was willing to get help. I don't see as part owner of the home how you have the legal right to evict him when it doesn't appear he did anything illegal or harmful to anyone.

    Community property. He could pack your bags and tell you to leave too, just cuz your the female doesn't mean you have sovereignty over him. Your married, an equal partnership. You can't legally force him to leave if he didn't do anything (such as abuse, etc) harmful or endangering.

    Sleep in separate rooms, maybe, but I can't see how you can legally kick him out. Somethings missing here. No offence, its just sounds incomplete and we don't have his side of it.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:15 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • we tried sleeping on separate beds, then we actually tried to work things out but more in my part then his, he was indifferent with me i did not feel that emotional connection. I even tried to sleep with him just to feel that connection and he said he couldn't that this was not healthy. I found all his texts msgs erased and then a girl test him at 3 in the mooring " i don't like the way tinges ended we need to talk when you have a chance. That was it for me. i feel like such a fool i love him so much but we cant be in the same house together and yes the apt is in his name.
    jenlesly

    Comment by jenlesly (original poster) at 7:26 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Well if thats the case... if he really is having an outside relationship then ya things need to change and you both need to be able to move on with your lives and be as happy as you can. I wish you the best.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:29 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I am so sorry honey.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 7:41 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I think you did the best thing. You couldn't go on like things were. It was driving you crazy. And it wasn't healthy. You made a decision, as hard as it was. Who knows, maybe this message was from a girl that tried to start something with him, and he refused. Maybe he got mad at her for trying, and now she's trying to smooth things over. It doesn't mean he did anything wrong with her. Although, getting mad at you for you blowing up about his mom, well, come on now. But, I think you did the right thing. You need to do what's right, and healthy for you. He DOES need to work on himself, and I hope he does. I hope things work out for you guys, and I hope you get your happy ending how you'd like it to be.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 7:49 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I think you have made a big mistake. He didn't give up on you any more than you gave up on him. You both need help, but there is all kinds of help available. I don't know how old your children are, but it is far better for them to live in a home where they watch Mom and Dad work together to overcome their struggles than to have to live apart from either parent and to endure the stress that comes with that package. It sounds like neither one of you knows how to relate to each other on a very mature level, but that, too, can be fixed. We all bring baggage to our marriages and a big part of it is to work together, helping one another get rid of all the stuff that needs to go. When one spouse or both expect the other one to fix him/herself, you are in big trouble. Marriage is about we, not you and me. So his problems are now yours, and you should be willing to help him get them fixed. The other woman probably will now!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:51 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Why on earth should she try any harder than she already has?! Go read her other questions, she has been through the ringer. I'm sorry but it sounds like your SO is obviously having an affair and just wants out. He is moving in with another woman, it can't get any more clear than that. He isn't going to try at all because he is done and I think you did the best you could. You shouldn't have to keep trying and putting yourself through all this for a man who isn't worthy of your love. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, hang in there, things will be better one day. And maybe he just might realize that the grass truly is not greener on the other side and will want to come back, and maybe you will say yes, and maybe you will say no. I wish you all the best. {{Hugs to you}}

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Why the hell did you pack his stuff?
    Throw his crap to the curb girl if he can't pack it himself. my my
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:29 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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