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How do u deal with breaking things off with a close friend?

My friend and I have been cool for over 4 years...He is also in a relationship for about 10 years and they have two kids together (3 & 10)...Well his SO over heard a phone conversation between the two of us, his phone called her, she heard us talking about life, work, and the sex between us. She called me making threats and then she told him she was leaving. I informed him that he needed to make things right with her but he doesn't know what he wants because he is in love with me and he wants us to be together. I don't want to make any committments with him because I want him to be sure of what it is he wants. I suggested counseling for him and they have had problems their entire relationship, he says she is a good person, but she is not accepting of his oldest son, who happens to be a straight A student and doesn't get into any trouble. The son had to move in with them because he lost this mother right before mother's day.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Were you two sleeping together while he was married? I think you need to stay far away and let this family work things out on their own.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:02 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Also, she had him call me while she was with him to say some mean things to me and he did. He called to tell me he only did \it because she was upset and he is just trying to make things right. I changed my number nad he calls my job trying to get my new number, I just don't know what to do? His cousin is best friends with my sister and the cousin stated my friend is just trying to figure things out, but he wants to be with me but he is trying to figure out what to do. Please let me know what you would do in this situation. He and I are best friends, we talk about everything and he supports me with school, work, even my children. I just have been overwhelmed on how things have happened and I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to be hurt. His son called me saying he is moving with his older brother because of my friend's woman, I know that will tear their relationship apart. I told the son to talk to his dad. HELP
    tipsharper

    Answer by tipsharper at 10:02 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • They are not married.
    tipsharper

    Answer by tipsharper at 10:03 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Ok, were you two sleeping together while he was in a relationship with the mother of his children? Again, stay far away and let them figure out this mess on their own.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:06 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • It sounds like there is a lot of game-playing going on. Stop talking to this man, and just get on with your own life. He has no clue what he wants or who he wants to do it with. If you do end up with him, he'll probably have someone in reserve.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:07 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Not in the beginning, but it did turn into that because I had just broken up with an ex and I was down a bad path.
    tipsharper

    Answer by tipsharper at 10:07 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • That's why I changed my number, because I didn't want to be involved in this. He doesn't have my new number.
    tipsharper

    Answer by tipsharper at 10:09 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Good, then just go from there and live your own life. Do what is right and healthy for you:) Don't worry about upsetting him, he is obviously confused and needs to figure out what he wants out of life too and probably should do it on his own. Good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:12 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Stop talking to him, he needs to work out things with the women he is with.. Have you ever heard the saying..

    " Don't leave the ones you love for the one you want, cause the one you want will leave you for the one they Love"
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 10:13 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • He needs to focus on her and not worry about you. Just leave him alone and just let him work things out. For all you know he is a cheater and wont ever be satisfied with what he got
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 10:15 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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