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Grandparents picking favorites with your kids?

Does it upset you if your childrens grandparents pick favorites between them? My inlaws do and it really bothers me. I have a 1yr old and a 2 yr old, both girls. My mil and fil both seem to prefer my 2yr old and rarely have much to do with my 1yr old. They completely skipped giving my 1yr old anything for christmas while my 2yr old got 3 or 4 toys, and for my 1yr olds bday they got her 1 toy, sand spoons, and also brought my 2yr old a toy, but for my 2yr olds bday they got her lots of stuff and didnt get my 1yr old a present! I know my kids dont know right now but they will eventually if my inlaws dont stop! WWYD?

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SabrenaLeigh

Asked by SabrenaLeigh at 10:15 AM on Aug. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,998 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Your DH needs to have a talk with them ASAP!
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:17 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I would wait and see if the Grandparents just don't think that a 1 year old cares or needs a lot of toys. And if in the next year that doesn't change sit down and talk to them.
    I was the non favorite with my grandmother who lived with us. I definatly notice and resentted it, it didn't help my younger sister and I's relationship. And my grandmother and I never really got along until she forgot who I was.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 10:18 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My parents did the same thing! They favored my son over my daughter. My kids are now 19 &20 and neither of them talk to their grandparents now!
    Grace516

    Answer by Grace516 at 10:20 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My parents favor my oldest and I've told them. They think I'm crazy, but the only one they take out is my 4yr old and my 2yr old is left home all the time. I dont know what will get through to them.
    CorbinsMomma

    Answer by CorbinsMomma at 10:21 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My parents and my in laws don't do that with our kids. They are all equal. They also have lots of grandkids, so I guess it makes it difficult to favor any one child. My parents have 9 grandchildren (5 are mine, 4 are my sister's), my in laws have 16 grandchildren between their 4 children. But, my grandmothers did similar with my sister, my brother, and myself. Not so much with gifts, but in the way we were treated. You could tell who was their favorite. But we had two biological and one step grandmother and between them we each had our own that favored us. It didn't make it right, but it made it easier for us to deal with it.
    Desi_Momof4

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 10:26 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I told everyone even my in-laws that there will not be any picking favorites with the kids. (i saw this in my own family and i will not have it, it just hurt the kids)

    for your babies B-day do not allow any gifts for the other child. She has to learn that day is her little sis special day.

    Start putting your foot down ASP don't be afraid protect your kids.



    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:26 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I agree with the second poster. Perhaps they just don't feel like the 1 year old will 'appreciate' or notice the gifts. I know several people that have a hard time buying for children that age, because 'Why should I spend a lot of money, all they are going to play with is the box anyways.' I think it should be addressed however, I would be very non confrontational about it however, you don't want to make them feel attacked. That will just cause resentment between you and them. I also agree with having DH speak to them, it may be better received from him than it will you. If it continues to be a problem, I'd let them know, if they don't plan to do for both, then they need not do for either.
    carsonsmommy

    Answer by carsonsmommy at 10:28 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My mom blatantly plays favorites, my oldest and my 3 yo niece over all the other grandkids. I have talked to her about how obvious this is and how she needs to make an effort to treat them all equally. My grandparents (her mom and dad) always played favorites and it drove her nuts and I remind her about that and ask her why she is doing it with her grandkids. When she is doing it, I just let her know quietly and over time she is getting somewhat better about it.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:28 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • well you need to have a talk with them and either they can treat them equally or they dont need to give any gifts at all or even worse not see them.
    my MIL was the same way but she chose to be favorites with hubbies brothers kids and didnt care to even see our kids. she lived two blocks away at one point and mailed their xmas gifts. we lived in the area temporarily for a year while i was in school and she only called or came to see the kids once. after we moved back home we havent heard anything from her. what really sucks is that my dh feels like an orphan and like she never wanted him.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 10:29 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My MIL favors my 3yr old. She just started paying attention to the 2yr old. My FIL favors the 2yr old but I think. That's because he sees how his wife used to ignore him. He even called her out on it a few times. I'm curious to see how they will react to the new baby. I just spoil them both tons that way they don't notice favorites, atleast not with me.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 11:42 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

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