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My baby's dad and I broke up when I was around 3 months prego. Around 4 or 5 months prego I started casually seeing a new guy, things between he and I have been getting more serious lately, but he still doesn't want to call us a couple!

The closer it gets to me having the baby, the more the guy I am seeing gets worried if he doesn't hear from me for a few days...he's always making sure I'm okay, he's been coming around more, basically everything has been more for the last month or so. I finally asked him if we were together or what...he said no and gave some lame excuses, then he kinda of mumbled something about women wanting titles...and then he looked at me and was like I love you, isn't that enough? uhmm what? If you love me so much, all the title does is say that you are committed to me, so what's the deal? He swears he's committed to just me, but won't put that title to it! I'm so confused...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I"m not sure what you are wanting. You just want him to think of you as a couple?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:26 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • your a couple regardless of him admitting to it. knowing that for now should make you feel more content. if your asking for another level of commitment when your carrying someone else's baby probably scares him even if he just has to say it. what if the ex wants back and wants to establish the unity for his baby's sake. it sounds like this man is scared. i would go pick up this book " he's just not that into you" might answer some questions about guys actions. you not asking him to marry you? also if he is freaking out when you guys are apart is probably cause he wonders if you with your ex.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Eh I don't think he is comitted. If he is afrais to say you are a couple sounds like he's just around for short term booty call....It's obvious...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Give him time. It could be just cold feet and fear of commitment. It's not everyday that a man dates a woman who is pregnant with another man's baby. It's a lot more complicated than a typical relationship!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 11:16 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • ditto.....lol....amydh. My thoughts exactly :P
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • My ex DOES want to get back together and the guy I'm seeing knows I am completely 100% not at all interested. For a lil more background this guy and I were seein each other for awhile BEFORE my ex and I got together, I broke things off with him bc he wouldn't commit then either. When my ex and I broke up he saw it on my myspace and came to me...he has a child of his own so he knows what it's like for visitations and stuff. WHen he asks if I'm okay if he hasn't heard from me, he usually asks if the baby is okay, did i go into labor, etc. from what he SAYS he doesn't care who I'm prego to bc he loves me and hell love my b aby too......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • and in response to the first poster, yes I want him to see us a couple. If he won't call me his gf, it makes me wonder what he does when I'm not around. I mean, he knows I have major trust issues with guys from being cheated on and lied to, so he should know that my wanting him to at least recognize me as his gf is for MY peace of mind to know that he sees us as a couple...it's like if a guy doesn't have a gf, then when he's out and about he can't get in trouble for getting other girls phone numbers, or going on a date or something, but if he does have a gf it's a different story. So it makes me think he doesn't want the title because he wants to be able to do whatever when im not around...yet he says he loves me and acts concerned when he doesn't hear from me..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Honestly, it sounds like he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend but he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. He sounds like he cares for you in a friend type manner and maybe just doesn't want your lives more complicated than they already are. I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to stick around and hopes he changes his mind. That book "He's Just Not that into you" is a great book to check in to.
    cdgoldilocks

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 1:21 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Thanks for all your replies so far ladies. Just an update: I brought up to him how upset I was over this whole thing bc I don't want to be his booty call or go to girl. He once again said he loves me and that even though he loves our sex life too that isn't how he sees me at all, etc. I went into more detail with him about the stuff he does that shows me that he doesn't love me the way he says he does and he basically went quiet on me because I was making sense proving my point...I was so frustrated I just let it go, ended the conversation and haven't talked to him since...that was just earlier tonight though. I guess only time will tell if I got through to him, but I think he realizes now that I'm not happy with the situation at all and I'm not going to hang around much longer...if at all...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

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