Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Going through a nasty divorce and my kids are in the middle....I just want to cry all night How to cope is my question

I was subjected to Domestic Violence and my husband will not follow the agreement that we have with the court....the thing is when going to court everything has to be a motion and takes forever to get anywhere so my husband is taking advantage of this and is putting my children in the middle of it. He is only paying me 150.00 a week, I have two children 10 and 11. He is suppose to pay all the house bills and the minimum payment on my charge. He has not done this in the past 3 months.....and is always late with my money, in the meantime I am going to school trying to get a certificate after being a stay at home mom for 11 years. I am going for medical coding and billing and almost through. But I am struggling. What to do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • call your attorney and have him dragged into court for contempt
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:32 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • There isn't much you can do except contact the people you owe money to and explain to them in detail your situation. Let them know you are relying on an abusive man, and that is why you aren't paying your bills as responsibly as you might like. I would pay them what I could pay and ask them to be patient with you until you can get caught up. I would take one day at a time and busy myself with my school, cleaning (that is work enough), and my kids. Soon enough you will have an education and can earn your own money.
    cdgoldilocks

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 10:47 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • I'm not sure what to tell you:( I know my ex didn't pay any support for a long time, and nothing was done about it. We didn't do the divorce court thing though...he has never paid anything for me. I do wish you the best, and he should KNOW BETTER than to put kids in the MIDDLE!
    mama14572

    Answer by mama14572 at 11:03 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • first, its great that you're going to school again, i myself am also doing this. second. doing it as a single mom is even better. also, take his ass to court. he'll be forced hopefully to pay backsupport or backpay whatever its called. if there is anyway you can prove he hasnt paid have it as evidence. keep in touch with your lawyer tell him everything you can. best of luck.
    imanixon2

    Answer by imanixon2 at 11:26 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • First and foremost.....do NOT give up the schooling! No matter what happens, that's your ticket. I have a step dd who is in a similar situation, but she had to stop school to get a job, but I have also told her the education is your only way out, we are working on finding a way for her to get back in school. She has 4 children. Hang in there, get a good attorney.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:01 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Thanks so much for the feedback and I do have a great attorney. My husband has made his own attorney want to guit his case and the judge said absolutely not. So now he wants to try and make a deal with me....I can not even look the man in the face he disgust me and just keeps on trying my patience.... I do have a part time job at my sons school as lunch supervisor which really makes me feel good that after 11 years I was able to get back out there and get paid and work with children.....I dont know it is tough....tomorrow I have to go to the care, cope and children class and don't know what to expect....what is this class I know you have to go when going through divorce ....does anyone know~
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • i cant answer your question about the class, but i do know something about being in an abusive relationship...and something stuck out to me in what you said. it sounds to me as if he is still trying to control you, and abuse you by not doing what he is ordered to do. he knows you depend on the money coming from him to help you and your kids get by. he also knows that it will cause you stress and distress if he uses the kids in this situation. please remember, he is a manipulator and a controler, that has something to do with why he abused you to begin with. and that is why he is doing you harm now. even though you are not together, he is still trying to take control. SO STAY IN SCHOOL. that is something that is for you and your children, and that is something that will take some power away from him...
    ivelostmyself

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 1:30 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.