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breaking curfew

my son is 18 and he has had a 1am curfew since he was 17. he continues to miss his curfew by 15, 20, 30 sometimes 45 mins. i have taken away car previlages and that works for about a week or so. Then back to breaking curfew again. don't know what else to do other than tell him to move and get his own place to live where he can make his own rules.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (20)
  • Is he out of school? Is he keeping you up waiting for him? is he coming home intoxicated? I'd be talking to him about getting his own place.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:47 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • He should follow house rules. As for him moving out. It is way too expensive for kids to be able to move out. They can't make it.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:47 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Tell him just what you told us, that if he can't follow the rules he needs to find his own place to live.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 11:51 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • If he can't understand that it is your house and your rules, charge him rent. Then explain that what he pays you is less than he would pay anywhere else, and the respect is really what your wanting.
    staceycorolla

    Answer by staceycorolla at 11:54 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My sympathies- I have a 19 y/o son. At 18 we told him 1:30 am curfew. He's broken it a few times, but will text his brother's phone if he's either going to be late or staying at a friend's. It's hard to give them consequences when they're grown (or think they are) & still living at home. Here's a few suggestions: 1) Wake him up early & put him to work on some household chores/yard work- when he's out past curfew. 2) If he has $ saved or a job- start "docking" him for every 15 minutes he's late 3) Stop doing things for him like his laundry, cooking, etc- so he can get a feel of what self-sufficientcy is- in case he has to move out- Hang in there- there will come a day you wish you had a better idea about what they're up to when they do get out on their own.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:55 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Lock the door. Seriously. One night out until you wake up the next day....
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 11:58 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Is it his car? He is an adult why does he have a curfew. Sorry I may just say this because i am young but at 18 I no longer had to home by a certain time because I worked and paid my mom rent. Tell him if he wants to be an adult than pay you rent/ My mom charged me 200 bucks a month for my room food tv and computer access. Much less than on my own but I was being an adult. I am 23 now and planning on buying my first home because I was taught to pay bills!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:59 AM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • OH but my mom knew who i was with and I would always make sure she knew where i was with so she wouldn't worry and if I was staying out over night I called her.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 12:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • He's 18, he shouldn't have a curfew. That said, he should be out on his own too... There's no way in hell my kids will be living here past 18, it's not healthy IMO!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • If he is living with you, you make the rules.
    Everytime he's late make his curfew earlier.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 12:05 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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