Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

NO LISTENING!!

I know 2 year olds are notorious for NOT listening but I am about to pull my hair out. My son is 2 1/2 and is VERY active. To the point that everywhere I go people remark on his energy level. Anyway he does not listen to save his life. I have tried 123 magic, time outs and even rewards!! What gives???? Give a girl some advice PLEASE!!

Answer Question
 
coolchic320

Asked by coolchic320 at 12:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 16 (2,992 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My 2+ gets spanked. NOT for high energy, but for disobedience. When done correctly, spanking is not hitting out of anger. It should follow clear guidelines that the child knows he is disobeying. For instance, "Baby, I need you to pick up this toy and put it in your toybox. Do it now or I have to give you a pop." He'll get the picture after a couple of pops.

    I've recommended this book countless times on this website already and I'm a newcomer.. Haha. But I read "To Train Up a Child" and found it extremely useful for my 2-year-old.

    Biz1985

    Answer by Biz1985 at 12:45 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I think you mean obey. You need to be careful with your words with toddlers or they will be confused. If your say to them, "you are not listening to me!" they may be thinking, "I hear you mommy." It's, "you are not obeying me!" Words that have two meanings should be avoided especially important words like this.


    Love & Limits by Elizibeth Crary is a great little toddler parenting book. It is a problem solving approach that uses avoidance of problems as the first step. Here is something you can print out and put on your fridge to help you get started.


    http://www.starparent.com/about/print.html

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:46 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • No little person should be spanked. It doesn't stop bad behavior in the long run and it never teaches good behavior. It makes kids behave worse, hit, bite, sneak, lie, and resent their parents. A smart mother can parent her children without violence and have well behaved children she can take anywhere and be proud of. All you need to do is learn a few parenting techniques.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:49 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • you might do your own investigation with him. Treat him like a deaf child for a second...go up to him and talk slow and quiet down on his level...does he attend to you then? My DD has an auditory processing delay...she can hear, but she really uses visual input to figure her world out (blind fold her and she doesn't understand your meaning of things).

    you are going to have to use your body to stop him and help him to attend to your voice....make your words mean what they are saying by usually stopping the behavior, or saying I will help you until you can do it (and they usually say I can do it, and they I say great, you are really growing up).

    but I bet you have a kid who will excel in sports and by 31/2 he will have more control over what he attends to~
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 12:49 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Thanks Ladies...his biggest issue is he runs away from me when we step outside our house to go in the car or at the park and when I ask hom nicely to come back he ignores me. It's beyond frustrating. In order to get to him to even talk face to face I have to chase him which I HATE doing (because he thinks it's fun) but because we are near cars, roads I have to. If he does it @ home I ignore it. I agree he def. will be a sports guy. He is VERY coordinated and certainly has the energy.
    coolchic320

    Comment by coolchic320 (original poster) at 12:58 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I completely agree with Gailll that you should choose your words carefully. Make sure your guidelines are very clear.

    I disagree that spanking makes children violent. I do think that if you are overly-emotional when you spank, you relay the message of, "It's OK to hit someone when I am angry." I respect other people's decisions not to spank though, as I would rather children not be abused for lack of knowledge in the area. Some of the most virtuous people I know got switchings as children and have fantastic relationships with their parents.

    Communication teaches good behavior, but when bad behavior occurs (as it will, no matter how great of a parent you are), you have to have a consequence that works ready-to-go.
    Biz1985

    Answer by Biz1985 at 12:58 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • i just thought I would give an update. I started giving him ONE chance to correct himself or it is a time out and (cross my fingers) it has been working!! of course he has not been perfect (but it is only day2 and I see a great improvement). I have also started having him look me in the eye when I chat with him and I think that helps too.
    coolchic320

    Comment by coolchic320 (original poster) at 1:50 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.