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Does anyone else have a husband that won't say he is sorry?

I have been married for 9 years and I can't remember once that my husband has said he is sorry unless I said it first. If he knows he has done something wrong he won't say he is sorry. He will either make whatever sound like it is my fault even when he knows its not. So he doesn't have to say sorry or he will pretend it doesn't exist cause, he knows eventually I'll let it go. I remember though it really bothers me that when he is an ass to me he doesn't at least apoligize. I know we all have bad days but, I deserve an apology.

Does anyone else have this problem? This has happened so many times in the past nine years. If he does something that he owes me an apology for. I feel like saying either tell me your sorry and mean it or bite my A%&

Do you have this problem?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • OMG....it is so strange that as I read this question I was wondering...."Did I wrtie this question...and just forgot??..." This is my dh! We've been together 4 years....and never once has he said he was sorry for anything! And like you, I eventually let it go. But when I think about it I am still upset about it, not about the disagreement but still from the fact that he never said he was sorry. I (and you) deserve that much...right? Why won't they say it?? Saying your sorry benefits both people, it seattles the issue. I"m afraid without that it may build up resentment.

    I noticed I was the first to respond, I was hoping to find some anwers...I'll be checking back to see what others say......... :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • sorry....didn't mean to be anonymous....... :)
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 11:53 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • Well, I am sorry that you don't get an apology once in a while. No, I don't have that problem with my husband. Matter a fact, he says he's sorry all the time. Alot to because he hates when I get mad or upset, and he hates when I don't talk to him...which makes him feel guilty, and what makes me mad about it, is because he says it to quickly. There has to be a thought about it, that a person is sorry..now if he accidently steps on your foot and quick sorry is approperiate but if the man actually hurts your feelings and your affected by it, then he needs to say sorry in a timely manner..not just to say sorry and think the problem with go away or it's fixed now that he's said it. I think for your situation....you need to stop saying your sorry all the time...he doesn't say it because he knows you will...maybe next time or times just don't say anything and he'll get the point. You'll do fine....good luck!
    stayhomemom22

    Answer by stayhomemom22 at 11:56 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

  • When I get upset cause he is in a bad mood and taking it out on me. I will say something to him and he will get mad at me for being upset with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!! Then he will totally disregard why I am upset and my feelings. For instance he was a hiney to me all after noon from the minute he walked in the door. I figured he was just tired and grumpy from work but, still I don't deserve that. He walks in and I showed him some picture of some loft bunk beds I had found on the internet. The reason I was looking for some is because, he said the other day he would like to get the kids some. Well when I showed it to him it was like I got smacked in the face.
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:38 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • He said well this one is ugly, this one suck and so does this one. They were all very nice beds he was just being a butt. So he said I want one more like this. I was looking at craigs list. So I looked and found one like he was talking about. I said how about this. I said we would just have to get a boy tent to go on it. Well he walks out and says I don't want to buy some crap that we have to buy something else in order to use it. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!! So I look over at my 9 year old daughter and she had tears in her eyes cause, daddy said crap to me. We don't use bad language in my house.
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:39 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • That hurt her very badly. Well he came back in and I said why are you mad at me? He said I am not mad at you if anyone is mad I guess it is you because you wouldn't say you loved me.
    WHAT???????? I have no idea what he is talking about. So I was trying to put a game on for my son cause, I promised. He said can't you get off that computer until the kids go to bed. I was doing something for our baby. I wasn't playing on the computer. y children and I were drawing pumpkins and I asked him how do you like my pumpkin he said yeah thats great. He was across the room and didn't look at it. I told him if you said I love you when we were on the phone and I didn't say it back I didn't here you. So I apoligized for the only thing I thought it could of been. So he is still not talking to me.
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:43 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Then he said I am ready to eat he makes his plate and starts eating and doesn't wait on me. It was like he was making some point because, he always makes us all start eating at the same time. You know to do the family thing. He gets upset if people don't wait on him when we start eating. So by him doing this he was basicly being a jerk because, he always makes a point on waiting for me. Also we were all in here watching TV together and I tried to talk to him a couple of times and he just didn't respond
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:44 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • My children and I were drawing pumpkins and I asked him how do you like my pumpkin he said yeah thats great. He was across the room and didn't look at it. I told him if you said I love you when we were on the phone and I didn't say it back I didn't here you. So I apoligized for the only thing I thought it could of been. So he is still not talking to me. So I write on a piece of paper I love you but, I put a little sad face on the side. He said what is this. I said well I love you but, I am sad cause, you seem mad at me. I was trying to make things better. Then he was mad about the sad
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:46 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • He sad it was like saying I love you, not!!!!!! I told him no it means I love you but, I am sad you seem mad at me. Anyway he kept being jerky about it and I told him sorry but you have been acting mad at me all night. Then he says well I don't feel good why don't you give me a break. You just keep giving me a hard time. I hadn't done anything. So he ended up turning it around making it sound like it was all me. So he didn't apoligize for being mean to me all night. I swear I really hadn't done anything other than apoligize for something I don't even remember. Sorry that I told you the whole story I just thought I needed to give an example. It is like when he is in a bad mood he takes it out on me and won't admit to it. No matter what he has done even when he knows he is wrong he won't apoligize he just turns it around and no matter what it is makes it my fault so he doesn't have to apoligize. WTF is up with that.
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Sorry it took so many tries to get that out. I am very irritated right now.

    Oh yeah yes you do end up building some resentment towards them. I think they do it because, they can't admit they are wrong even if they are. What kills me is I tell him I am sorry when I do something wrong which, of course I have my days too. Why can't he give me the same courtesy. See with out the I am sorry it never ends. For him it does but, I hold on to it. :0(

    Thanks,
    Michelle
    hopingforanange

    Answer by hopingforanange at 12:51 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

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