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How do I get proof of abuse on a 15 year old? adult content

My mother in law is not a parent to her daughter (my sister in law). When she is not at school, she is sent off somewhere (either our house, her grandfather's house, or even her boyfriend's house) for the weekend. And a lot of times also on school nights. When she does keep her at home, all she does is find things to scream at her about. When my M.i.l. has an issue with her own daughter, she calls ME to handle it. She has called me before stating, "If you don't come pick her up right now, she is going to end up in the hospital and I will end up in jail, and I don't care."....this has happened several times late on a school night. I live 45 minutes away and have had to get up in the middle of the night and go get her. Recently my S.i.l. has had a personal health issue with has been left untreated bc my mil claims she can't afford the medicine(cream for a yeast inf.). (yet she can afford to get drunk every night) Ugh I'm fed up.

 
Kword

Asked by Kword at 12:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 27 (29,610 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You can't get "proof" but you can be responsible in your concern. If abuse is going on you report it to social services. It is an annonymos report and you make it in good faith. While not great parenting it is not illegal to have your child be with someone else. Not considered abusive no matter how frequent or for how long. As long as the teen's needs for food and shelter are being met.... Not considered abuse. Drinking every night? Also not abuse. You can be as drunk as you want as long as your children have their needs for food, shelter, and clothing met. Now physical threats are different. So is physical abuse. After an acute situation, report it! Call social services or law enforcement. Have this teen report things at school. While ahe is a child she is not helpless. She can report to school professionals or call authorties herself. If this was me I would not continue to rescue my sil. I would call
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:30 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • She has also told me a few times that her mother has slapped her in the face and a few weeks ago left a bruise on her shoulder bc she was drunk and pushed her into the wall. M.i.l. claims to not remember the incident, and I can't convince my S.i.l. that it may be in her best interest to participate in us turning her mom in bc she doesn't want to go to a foster home. (she's been for a few months once before bc her mother's bf molested her) (the bf whom her mom is still seeing, which is the reason that she is never allowed to stay at home.)
    Kword

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 12:46 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • she shouldn't end up in a foster home if you have the room to take her into your home.
    mlmartinez

    Answer by mlmartinez at 12:57 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • That's the problem. We would have to move to a new home bc we only have two bedrooms. Her grandfather can't take her bc he has a lot of health problems and his house wouldn't pass home study. :(
    Kword

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 1:01 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Would MIL sign over gaurdianship to you and hubby? It doesn't sound like she wants the poor girl around anyway. That would remove the chance of SIL going into fostercare at all.
    Aislin

    Answer by Aislin at 1:03 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I wish she would. One day while talking to my sil about it, I had mentioned that I wish I could just adopt her and get it over with. My MIL went of on me when she found out I had said this and told me "You will never get custody of her, I will make sure of that. she will go to a foster home if she wants to be a little bitch." She's really childish and doesn't really care about anyone but herself. She also abused my husband growing up.
    Kword

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 1:07 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • You can write down every incident and date it. That's one way to document what is happening to the child. I also would think that at the age the child is, her word would be considered on what goes on in her home. You can also call your local county attorney's or public defender's office and ask them for help. They would be able to tell you exactly what you should do.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:41 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • The Authorities and make a report. By saving both mil and sil you allow the cycle to keep going round and round. Don't do it. When mil calls and says a threat to her teen- you call the police. You can, depending on your state laws record a person without them knowing. If this is legal in your state I would record the threat and call police. But I could not put myself in a situation that continues this madness.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:34 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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