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My friend is going through a divorce, but her ex husband still lives at home with her until they get things straightened out. But, she asked me to come over and watch her kids. I came over at about 10am and I didn't hear from her again until 6pm. She asked me to stay the night with the kids, which I did, even though her ex was still home. Then she called me the next day at noon and told me she wasn't going to be home until late. By this point, I was frustrated, so I left the kids with their dad until she got home. I had to get home to my dd and my dh which hadn't seen me since the day before. I'm not sure if I did the right thing. I feel kind of used, but by the same token, I don't want to screw up a good relationship because I messed up. Did I do the right thing?

 
gnovinger

Asked by gnovinger at 4:41 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,214 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • um.. if anything SHE is screwing up your friendship.. you shouldn't be expected to just watch her kids when their dad is home and you have a family too and this was not what you signed up for originally.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:44 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • That was a little screwy! yeah,you did the right thing. After all,they ARE still his kids even if they're divorcing!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • How strange!
    1lilgirl

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 4:44 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Yes. Unless you thought the husband was abusive or something there was so reason to not leave his own kids with him. Where your friend the whole time? If anything, SHE is the one screwing the relationship.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 4:45 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • It's not how I would have handled it, but that's not to say what you did was wrong. With a husband and child at home, I would have felt my first loyalty should have been to be home with them. Also, I would not have wanted to have been in the house with any other man, especially one who is in the process of getting a divorce. She very well could have been setting you up for some pretty ugly accusations. I don't know her, but I find it very odd that she stayed out all night. I don't know what she was up to, but I don't think it was anything very good. I hope this doesn't come back to bite you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:46 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • The whole thing sounds weird to me. Unless your friend told you that her soon to be ex-husband was bad for the kids or bad to them, I would not stress what you did at all. Your friend should have been honest with you about how long she was going to be gone.
    chex9495

    Answer by chex9495 at 4:47 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • So you went over to babysit your friends kids and the fathers of the kids was there all along? That was silly to me. I would have told her to bring them over to your house or let the father watch them. I would just screw up our relationship.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:48 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • yup weird... but perhaps you don't have all the details of the divorce and there is a reason why he can't be left responsible for the kids - drugs, alcohol, violence, neglect... I have a friend who never leaves her kids with their Dad cos he sits and drinks until he's unconscious and is not even sort of aware of the kids safety. ( why she is still with him is another screwed up story! )I would have asked her why her Ex wasn't ab;e to watch the kids so you know what the reasons were. - and if its a good friendship she'll be honest and understand and if she is just using you , better to know now. I wouldn't ask any of my friends to babysit for a full 2 days , away from my own child, without there being a serious emergency or problem, and I wouldn't ask any of my friends to spend 2 days and a night in the house with my Ex - if she can't stand him, why should you
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:50 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • yeah, you were a lot more patient then i would have been... they are still his kids
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 4:57 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I would have done the same thing cuz your kids should always come first
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 4:58 PM on Aug. 30, 2010