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To the person who was missing the point my son has ADHD so I'm dealing with a 5 year old who not only goes to bed late but requires too much attention during the day so thinking about his father is all I can do until I see him again but his Job is keeping us apart and the only point is that he's a bus driver for Special needs adults like my niece.How can I get this man to see that I love him and need him or I'm gonna lose him to somebody else?

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Asked by mommys1luv at 5:06 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (162 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • This has to be a 2 way street and not only in regards to sex. I thought you said that this was his son too. If that's the case, then he not only needs to find time to spend with you but also your son.

    He needs to be making an effort as well. If he isn't, then he isn't worth keeping.

    And, if you lose him to someone else, he wasn't interested in being kept in the first place.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:09 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

    -Gloria Steinem

    The bottom line is that your children come first. A man who can't understand that is not worthy of your love.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:09 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • If you have already had a 5 yo child with him and haven't been able to get him to see that you love him in all these years then isn't it time to give up? You may be able to get services like respite care and parenting classes since your son has ADHD. You should ask your child's psychiatrist or other professionals you deal with about what's available.


    Answer by Gailll at 5:13 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Is your son on medication? If he is, then that is why he is up late, he can't fall asleep. Give him either benedryl or melatonin. We gave our son, who is also ADHD and on medication, benedryl, but then it didn't work as well after a while. Now he takes melatonin. It works great, and he's not drowsy in the morning. His peds doc recommended it. He had taken clonadine, which they prescribe often, but it gave him headaches, and made him throw up. If he's not on meds, think about putting him on them. It really helps.
    As for your relationship, you just have to rearrange things. I really think once you get things under control with your son, things with your SO will go smoother. Relationships take work. And the fact is, if you aren't willing to take the time and make the effort to work at it, it will fall apart.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:16 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • want your man to see you and know how hard raising your son is on you. Girl (being a single mom and doing 3 on my own without any men) what are you going to do to help yourself? Ya need a break. It sounds like you have lost your equilibrium and i say that having lost my own many times.

    you must get some respite care from a regional center for your oldest (I get 160hr of RN care for my 18 year old). The same agency might be able to help out with your 5 year old. its about self help~ain't Nobody bailing my ass out but my self...if we have an earthquake..I'm pulling the bricks off our heads and I know that....

    Look at Katrina~the weakest were divided from strong and look what happen to the weakest? You are the strong one. you don't have the liberty to crack and if you are going that way reach out to someone who will lift up your load~hubby isn't the one~keep searching~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 5:18 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • if your child has ADHD and is too much energy for too long in the day be honest with yourself about what you can handle - get him in swim lessons, soccer, something where he is moving and you get to chill and listen to music, read, etc... activities are great for families that way... everyone benifits... for your dh.. maybe just write him a love note whenever you think of him, hide them in his drawers, his cds/dvds, where ever he will find them... and why do you think he willleave you just because he doesnt know how much you love him -- maybe you are in the same boat together and You dont realize how much he loves you and gives all his time working the job to let you have some of the life you want... idk really... and i have seen adhd kids do such amazing things if you can cut out the sugar 100%.... it is remarkable.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:30 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I don't know what to tell you, or what you want me to say.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 6:15 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My dh and I have a 9 year old with severe ADHD and other issues. My dh knows my days are rough some days. And some days I'm exhausted beyond belief. And I am grumpy. My dh understands that my job isn't 9 to 5 and some nights I'll be up when he gets up to go to work at 4:30 am because my ds can't/won't go to sleep. Working with special needs people, your dh knows what your day is like. Just go to him, tell him you love him! I apologize to him when I'm super ill. And this doesn't include life with my typical 3 year old! It's life, it's your life and you just have to take it by the reigns. Tell you dh you love him and need him, he'll understand.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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