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7 Bumps

I'm the other woman...

So, this guy I have known for 6 yrs and not seen in 5 recently popped back into my life. ^ years ago, there was a strong connection, but we never acted or said anything. Now 6 years later I see him and he kisses me like I haven't been kissed in a long time. We are both married. I told him I could not hurt my hubby or kids. He admitted the same thing. The problem is, we really do have feelings for each other. I wanted to end it before we fell in love with each other. I know I am horrible, I know I have no right to want to cry but I do. I am not looking for bashing, I need some encouragement that I did the right thing by ending it I guess, because I do wanna cry.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (40)
  • ok so i hate to be the odd mom out but i am.... I know you don't want to hurt your husband or children but at the end of the day YOU must be happy. feelings and emotions can be forgiven and if not then oh well. I'm not saying run off and have a fling but i will say explore yourself. only YOU have the answer to this question. talk to your husband. find out whats wrong and admit the truth. its hard for people to say i'm not in love with you but i still love you. really look and give it time. if this new person is ment to be he will do the same and you will end up together. don't rush but give it thought. at the end of the day your kids want a mom that is happy and loving not someone sad and depressed... you don't ever want to second guess yourself. good luck honey.

    Answer by starlit_kissez at 6:01 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Oh yes you certainly did do the right and honorable thing by ending it. You wouldn't want a man who would cheat on his wife anyway. This may be in part the grass is greener syndrome. Give your husband and family extra thought and loving.

    Answer by Bmat at 5:48 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • There are always going to be people we are attracted to, we get married, we don't die! And these potential relationships will always be excited, that is their nature, but nothing will beat what you have at home with your kids and husband! You will regret moving forward with some guy much, much more than you will regret this passing crush. Cry about it, curse life and then kiss your sweet husband and kids and feel better!

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 5:55 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • " I told him I could not hurt my hubby or kids."

    There's your answer.

    This is playing with fire. A fire that will destroy your home, family, children, even friends. You need to end it and never have any contact with this man again. Your marriage cannot be happy and fullfilling if you are not giving it your whole heart.

    It takes 14 days to form a new habbit. Refrain from any contact with him for 14 days and it will start to get much easier. At the same time, take special care to nurture your marriage and take good care of your husband. Feelings like this for others often arrise when we are neglecting our marriages.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:50 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • You hurt and violated your family when you kissed "ANOTHER MAN".

    Answer by ambr2006 at 6:13 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Then cry. I'm sorry, but I just can't feel sorry for you. I won't bash you, but IDK what to tell ya. Maybe you should talk with your hubby about what's missing in ya'lls relationship that you fell in love with someone else.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:50 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • You did do the right thing by ending it and it sounds like you love your hubby and your kids and dont want to hurt them and thats the most important thing

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 5:52 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Like everyone else said, you did good by ending it. It was good thinking on your part.

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 5:54 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Ya you really need to cut all ties, all communication w/ him NOW... fess up to your DH and move on. I think, by what you wrote, that you know this is the best.

    Answer by dragonflylovr19 at 5:58 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Go out and rent Love Actually and pay special attention to Emma Thompson's story.

    Now... keep it to yourself. Your family NEVER needs to know. Ever. For any reason. You have built a wall... it might be a small wall at present, but now you have something behind it and you're alone there.

    So cry. In the shower. In the car. Alone. Where you are with your secret.

    Next, when you're finished with all the wallowing in self-pity, revisit your family.

    What do you love about your kids? What do you appreciate and adore about your husband? What did you adore about him when you said 'yes'? What does he do for you that he doesn't have to do? What does he bring to you? How are your kids unique? How do they remind you of other beloved family members?

    What you focus on will expand. Do you want to focus on missing out, not getting to explore that new, exciting possibility (and the havoc that comes with it?) or the love you have?

    Answer by LindaClement at 6:07 PM on Aug. 30, 2010