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3 Bumps

Do we expect an impossible standard?

Started my Bad Mothers class today. There's an essay included in our reading for the week that really caught my attention. You can find a copy of it here:
http://www.pinzler.com/ushistory/cultwo.html
The essay was written in 1966, and the quotations are taken from women's magazines from the 1800's. It does a good job describing the stark difference in standards women were held to then in terms of expectations of religious and sexual virtue (among other requirements). The point of the article is to demonstrate how archaic and demeaning those ideals were, but what stood out to me was how often those ideals play into how women judge each other - especially how mothers judge other mothers. Are we conditioned to expect far more than is rational? Is this constant fighting that goes on here (and other sections) just the last vestige of the religious servitude from previous centuries?

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NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 7:32 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 51 (421,172 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • http://www.pinzler.com/ushistory/cultwo.html


     


    (wrote a journal about this class today, too.  I suspect it's going to bring up a lot of interesting questions and random thoughts, because it's so intertwined with they dynamic of CM "society")

    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 7:33 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • hmm... putting the kids down for bed... then reading... I'll be back ;)
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:38 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Hmmm, thats an interesting take on it. As when we tear each other down, it's to make ourselves feel better. It's about insecurity, and finding our place securely in our world.
    It always bothers me when women do this to each other...and we are all guilty of it.
    sahmamax2

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 7:40 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Is this constant fighting that goes on here (and other sections) just the last vestige of the religious servitude from previous centuries?

    I don't think so because the worst offenders seem to be those that claim to not "believe". Religion is not the root of all evil in the world. I personally think it comes from insecurity and boredom ;)
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:22 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I don't think so because the worst offenders seem to be those that claim to not "believe"

    What does believing have to do with standards of behavior that were beat into us as a species for 1000 years? I'm talking about conditioning and tradition and the overall impact on society as a whole.
    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 8:39 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • How can someone be conditioned by that which they do not believe? I really think that we argue because of something within us, not an outside force. I think that our nature to nurture to protect and provide makes us awesome Mothers but messed up friends.. like we need to believe that we are doing the right thing all the time because the future of our family depends on it. I think when it comes down to it, we are all insecure in our ability to nurture and protect- we are all looking for reasons why the worst won't happen to us..."her son died because he was FF, I am smarter than that I BF so my son will not die"- "her son is autistic because of vaccinations- I am a better Mother because I did not vaccinate and my son is not autistic" I think its how well we are able to be realistic with ourselves and human nature that keeps us from devouring each other so to speak. CONT
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:46 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I think that the most judgmental are also the most insecure. I think that those that question others too much as those that feel the most insecure about their own choices.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:47 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Oh and by the way, I do not mean you NP. There are some on here that when you glance at their profiles, you understand better why they need to be right about something. You understand why the need have others agree or be beat down with insults is so important. They tend to be no fun-;)
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 9:05 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • How can someone be conditioned by that which they do not believe?

    By their parents, who were conditioned by their parents, who were conditioned by their parents, and so on
    NotPanicking

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • By their parents, who were conditioned by their parents, who were conditioned by their parents, and so on

    To me- you have to believe in something for it "stick" for lack of a better word- there are plenty that were raised by parents that are racist that are not themselves racist.
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 9:53 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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