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5 Bumps

how do I get over my husband?

This is the second time this has happened... The first time I was pregnant he left me at three months along, and put me through absolute hell going out with other girls all the time, he even slept with one of them... i told him that when our son was born he was going to want to be there and be apart of his life. The whole time i wanted him back, cried and was absolutely a wreck. When our son was born after a few weeks we got back together, everythings been great, and then we started talking about having another baby.. he promised he would deal because i am mean when im pregnant, but he said okay... now here i am three months pregnant again, dealing with the same shit.. and he left about a week ago, and is trying to give me rules.. why should i let him see our son alone? he hasnt put him to bed in months... its bull shit... i just want to be done with him, but i love him so much i cant help but always want him back...

 
shannonrenee09

Asked by shannonrenee09 at 7:44 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (318 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Damn girl! I have ALOT of advice for you!!!!!!!! I'm 36 weeks prego and my ex left me at 27 weeks prego.... Rule #1 you need a retreat! Get a sitter. Gather up some saved cash. Go on a vacation ALONE.... I took a 5 hour road trip when i was 8 months prego... and went camping by myself... I did ALOT of crying, alot of writing (to get my feelings out) and then i went hiking and sight seeing... I took alot of pictures and after my trip was over i felt soooo powerful.... I felt like a woman in charge of my situation...
    the best thing for you to do is to start doing things that you've never done before or things that you were to scared to do alone... Even if your pregnant... Pick up Mt Biking... Hiking... Art... Sight seeing... join a gym.... get a personal trainer... start a new hobby... Its hard to do but IT HELPS... I still get lonely and miss him but I feel so much more independant now!!! hit me up we can talk more love ya
    Niltiak

    Answer by Niltiak at 3:16 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • He is being immature and also being a bad dad you can do soo much better than this loser who obviously has commitment issue i would file for divorce and then just be single for awhile just do what is best for your children and that would be finding a dad that wants to be around you all the time not just when it is convient
    nandy90

    Answer by nandy90 at 7:51 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Hugs,
    The good thing is that you have the power to change your life. You will be fine. Just keep looking forward to new and better things. I divorced and raised three kids without my ex. It is so crucial to control your thoughts and keep a positive outlook. Time to take your life back and for the record you have all of the power, it is your rules from now on. Chin up and stay strong.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 8:08 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • First you need to decided one way or the other. What is going to be the best thing for you and the children. As for getting over him the only thing that is going to help is time.

    dragonlady44

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 7:51 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Now its not about you its about your kid & i know you want your kid to have a father. But look at it this way,do you want your son to be treating other women the same way his dad is treating you when he gets older.? hes the father of your kids and your husband but hes not showing responsiblity.hes not a good role model & not someone i think you want your kids to look up to.From woman to woman i know its hard but your kids come first not you & how you feel. You need to bring your inner strong woman out and say F this dude my kids are wat makes me happy & im doiinqq this for them. Im not qonna let them see their no good father try to control me. One more thing no mater how old kids are they see everything
    Lovehurts1

    Answer by Lovehurts1 at 8:53 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • idk. but heres a hug! hope things get better for you
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 11:50 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • "he promised he would deal because i am mean when im pregnant,"

    Define "mean"...just hormonal or plain psycho? I mean if it's really bad, I could see why he might leave....just a thought to consider.(although I never condone cheating for any reason) Can I ask why you decided to have another baby with this guy??? Was you relationship that stable? You say you won't do anything to change but at the same time you can't let him go? I can't say from this one post whose "fault" it really is but I do know that a relationship is a two-way street and is something BOTH of you need to compromise and work on.
    Either way I hope you can both find a way to communicate and work things out....have you tried counseling?
    connorsmom1970

    Answer by connorsmom1970 at 1:32 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Sweetie I been there done that. He's not goin to change just say what it takes to get you to chill out and off his case. As a Momma if you dont trust him to be alone with the children then dont let him because its a reason you feel that way. I know he's you hd but becareful when sexin him cause he's probly not wearin protection with the other chiks and i bet they're younger than you so he get free range with them. Its hard to let go of a man when you love him and have children with him but man dont change till they are ready and dont sound like he ready just yet. This will not be an easy process. Hit me up if you wanna talk more or anythang
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 9:20 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

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