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Out of control Teen

I have a 14 year old daughter that is very disrespectful to everyone especially me and my boyfriend. She is very easily persuaded into doing things(peer pressure), yesterday she was talked into cutting school (for the first time) and they hid out in an abandoned house. Were caught by the police and brought home. She is now grounded, but I am at my wits end with her. Have tried counseling with her but she will not open up to anyone. Someone please help me.

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preciousmom_2

Asked by preciousmom_2 at 5:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (9)
  • This is a tough age. I would try different counselors until you find one she will open up to. Another thing that worked with my teens was an afternoon or evening out with just Mom or Dad. Teens tend to open up more in a one on one situation especially in the car where they can't get angry and go to their room and slam the door. My son went to years of counseling and we both agree that the hour long drive to and from his sessions when we got to chat in the car was far more beneficial than the time he actually spent in the therapist's office.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Wow that sounds exactly like me, at that age. My mom tried everything too and to be honest I never cared. But now that I am grown and have children of my own we have a great relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I had this problem with my daughter last year which BTW was 14. We tried counseling, it didn't work for us. We just wasted our time and gas.. I was trying to give her everything to make her happy, cuz that is what I thought she needed. I found out on my own that I was going in the wrong direction with her.. The more I gave her, the more she took. So, I changed. It took me to change for her to change. IF that makes any sense.. I started taking back what I had gave her when she acted up. Then she would "earn" these things back. Such as phone, computer time, etc.. And of course my husband and I did ALOT of talking.. We have the "dinner time rule". That is when dinner is ready, we all sit together, phones are off, tv is off, and we talk.. You would be amazed at what comes out at the dinner table.. lol.. I wish you the best with your daughter..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 9:59 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Have you tried a girls circle group where other girls her age are going thru some of the same things. There is this non-profit organization that I participate in called, Polished Pearls. You have to build a relationship with your daughter. You also have to be honest with yourself and ask if your daughter is rebelling because of the relationship you and your boyfriend have? You have to get to the root of the problem and it starts with you mom! You baby is reaching out for your love and maybe that is something you didn't get much of.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Get ready this is only the beginning. You have to get her involved in a Church that has teen community organizations or teen church groups. do what you have to do not to loose your daughter. Get to it mom don't loose your baby she will make you proud one day! Much love a concerned mom:-)
    SPEND SOME MOTHER AND DAUGHTER TIME. NAIL SHOP> HAIR APPOINTMENTS> BREAKFAST ETC. THIS IS THE TIME ME AND MY 12 YEAR OLD AND 10 YEAR OLD TALK ABOUT WHAT THEY NORMALLY WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IF THEY DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE AND IMPORTANT. THIS IS THE TIME THEY FEEL IMPORTANT THAT YOU ARE CONCERNED... OH AND MOM BE PATIENT DON'T YELL OH I KNOW IT IS HARD BUT DON'T PROVOKE HER. DEFINE PROVOKE FOR YOURSELF AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU, BUT SOMETIMES WE GET CAUGHT UP IN OUR OWN LIVES AND WE FORGET ABOUT OUR CHILDREN.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • she can't respect others until she respects herself. See if you can get her to look up self respect and self esteem. Then ask her how a person can obtain both of those as goals. maybe she doesn't know how.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:31 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Maybe the fact that you have a boyfriend has something to do with it. She may feel left out, displaced, alone, who knows.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Had a teen that went through a faze also. Just stick by her but be tough. I should have taken things away. (car, etc..) Most of the time, it will work out. Some times kids are doing drugs and you don't even know it. (or refuse to see it) That can alter their personality.
    She is grown now and a great daughter and mother.
    Hormones play a big part and also having social problems with friends. It's hard to be a teen but demand respect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Ok well instead of taking her to a shrick why dont you just sit her down and talk to her not as a daughter but as a person.........and well if that dont work take everything away from her cell phone ipod internet etc............if that dont work cut off ther services give her chores......
    phoebematthew

    Answer by phoebematthew at 8:50 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

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