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2 Bumps

What would you do? adult content

My son's father is a very abusive, angry person. He has never done anything to our son, but abused me physically, and mentally for years. He also had a physical relationship with a minor, but was never charged with anything. We broke up and I met an amazing man, who is good to me and my child. My son's father has recently started dating someone who is 14 years older than he is, a month or 2 ago and has a daughter who is 12 years old. I am very concerned with my child being around this other woman's child with my son around. Especially when he has already drank around this child. I have sole custody of my son, but his father still has every other weekend visitation and he has refused to not stay away from this womans child when he has our son. What would you do?

Answer Question
Jamie K.

Asked by Jamie K. at 8:28 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (78 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • TO be able to try to answer your question a little better...I was wondering..what has the womans child done that causes you to be afraid of your son being around her?Or am I reading this wrong?

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:34 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I agree with the above poster - I don't understand what the 12 year old has to do with anything. Seems to me the new girlfriend coudl be just as dangerous as her kids or anyone else in your ex's life. Abusers tend to hang around their own kind.

    Answer by getrealmama at 8:36 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • The child is a minor, which he has drank around.... previously he had a sexual relationship with a 15 year old girl and that was when I finally decided to leave. The girlfriend is as nutty as he is, and the scary thing is, she was in a marriage for 16 years with an abusive man.
    Jamie K.

    Comment by Jamie K. (original poster) at 8:40 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • i can see why you wouldn't want your son around his father, but i also fail to see why you want to keep his gf's child away? all i saw was that he got drunk around the daughter, but i don't see how that has any reflection on her instead of him. does she also drink? is she also abusive? is she too rough? i don't get it yet? i think a little more detail would help

    Answer by rAbella at 8:59 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • I am very confused? is this about your ex being abusive, or being with another woman who has a son, or this son drinking or having sex. I'm just confused. I think you should reread what you wrote and clarify so we can understand and then we will be able to give you a good answer

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:00 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Honestly, if Im getting this right, there is nothing you can do... He has a right to be with whom he wants to be with. If you can find proof of something going on you can call CPS on your ex, & his "nutty" girlfriend... But just becuase someone is Nutty to you doesnt mean that shes a bad person. as for her minor child, if you dont feel your child is safe, again call CPS when your child is there, if you have proof something is going on. or talk to your lawyer...... try to get it to vists with a court appointed person..


    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:08 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Just remember at any times the tables can turn. he might not like the person your with either....

    Its in our motherly instics (sp) to not want any other "mom" figure near our child, but at the same time, if we are no longer with the father & the father is straight, most likely you are not going to like the other woman. But unless you have proof of something going on there is nothing you can doing unless you try to get all vists taken away. or can prove something is going on.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:09 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • My ex had sex with a 15 year old girl previously, that is why we broke up... I don't want my child to have to witness his father getting drunk and trying to seduce a 12 year.
    Jamie K.

    Comment by Jamie K. (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • Does the father have supervised visits? If not, that would be my only suggestions is to try to get it that way. Or maybe he can only see his son in a public place.

    Answer by cuteasabutton78 at 9:54 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • The only problem with that, is that i have no proof, i was the one to walk in on it, and the 15 year old girls mother refuses to do anything about it because she works for my ex's parents and is afraid to lose her job (great mother huh?)... It is court ordered that he can not drink around our son, and within 24 hours of having him, but i don't trust him at all, and he lives 2 1/2 hours away, so how am i going to enforce that?
    Jamie K.

    Comment by Jamie K. (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

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